god i cant wait to see what happens in season 7.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
LOST in Translation
Jack and Sawyer and Hurley are facing the Smoke Monster.
The Smoke Monster says "Nothing can defeat me, not even the light."
"I know how to defeat you" says Manny Psihountas from the trees. In steps Manny, the character who knows all the answers.
"Gentlemen," he says, "Did you know all you had to do to kill the Smoke Monster was wish that he did not exist. The Island will listen to you."
So they wish it so, and its cool. Then Sawyer and Jack both wish Kate was fucking them so she appears but like two of her to go home with each of them. Hurley wishes that in the past the Dharma Initiative dropped food on the island, and they do, explaining the biggest mystery of LOST!
Manny says "Well my work here is done!" and everyone is like "Cool Thanks, how do we get off this rock?"
Manny says "I guess the only way to realize that you've been found is to realize that you were never Lost."
Jack contemplates this.
"Hey what's your name anyway, dude" Hurley says.
Manny opens his mouth to speak...
LOST
The Smoke Monster says "Nothing can defeat me, not even the light."
"I know how to defeat you" says Manny Psihountas from the trees. In steps Manny, the character who knows all the answers.
"Gentlemen," he says, "Did you know all you had to do to kill the Smoke Monster was wish that he did not exist. The Island will listen to you."
So they wish it so, and its cool. Then Sawyer and Jack both wish Kate was fucking them so she appears but like two of her to go home with each of them. Hurley wishes that in the past the Dharma Initiative dropped food on the island, and they do, explaining the biggest mystery of LOST!
Manny says "Well my work here is done!" and everyone is like "Cool Thanks, how do we get off this rock?"
Manny says "I guess the only way to realize that you've been found is to realize that you were never Lost."
Jack contemplates this.
"Hey what's your name anyway, dude" Hurley says.
Manny opens his mouth to speak...
LOST
Matthew Jahns is LOST
PREVIOUSLY ON LOST
Shot of Smoke Monster Locke facing Jack in the rain on the precipice of a mountain: “Don’t try to stop me, Jack. You can’t. You just don’t have what it takes.” “Don’t tell me what I can’t do!” screams Jack, attempting to tackle Locke, who then transforms into the smoke monster and tosses him off of the cliffside. “Don’t follow me!” Locke calls after the falling doctor. Shot of Ilana’s party discovering Jack at the base of the mountain, beaten and bloodied, now bearing a scar over his right eye identical to Locke’s. Shot of Lepidus’ helicopter flying into smoking volcano hole, slow motion. Shot of Kate running up to and kissing Sawyer in the Dharma barracks, then pushing him away and slapping him. Hard. She angrily accuses him: “How could you do this??? Juliet loved you!” Kate runs away into the jungle. Shot of Sun and Jin sitting together at a fire. Jin shows Sun a black rock given to him by Locke and she shows him a white rock given to her by Jacob. Shot of Jack, Hurley, Frank, and Richard exiting helicopter in the interior of the volcano. Slowly reveal among the smoke a mysterious ball of white light. They approach the ball to find a man crouched on the ground. He looks up at them. It’s Jacob. “Somebody get this man some pants,” quips Frank. Bodiless Jacob monologue while a montage of scenes from throughout LOST plays: “I picked you for a purpose. You are special. And the Other, he wants to destroy that which is special. If he gets off this Island, everything special in the world will die. It’s up to you now to stop him. You must confront him at the Tower. He’ll be waiting. I only hope that the gifts I gave you were enough.” Shot of Smoke Monster Locke from behind, exiting the jungle to reveal an enormous tower that stretches into the sky as far as the eye can see. “Game over,” he says ominously.
LOST FINALE
Jack, Ilana, Ben, Richard, Sun, Jin, Frank, Hurley and Miles arrive at the tower to find Smoke Locke’s party waiting, which includes Sawyer, Sayid, Claire, Cindy, Zack, and Emma.
“Where’s Kate?” demands Sawyer of Jack.
“I thought she was with you,” says Jack, perplexed.
Meanwhile Hurley and Miles discuss the metaphysics of the show.
“Wait, what about the sideways universe?” asks Miles. “You know, the one where I’m a cop and you’re the luckiest man alive?”
“Dude,” answers Hurley, “you really have to keep up. It’s all about magnetism or some other sciency stuff. You know how on magnets there’s a positive and negative side? Well that was like the negative side. But Desmond made it go away with his Magneto powers or whatever. Where were you for that?”
Miles sighs: “I was on a beer run. What terrible timing—”
Kate bursts out of the jungle full speed, but practically trips over herself when she recognizes the scene before her.
“What’s everybody doing here?” she asks confused. “Hey, is that a giant tower stretching into the sky? I can’t even see the top!”
“Well, now all of the candidates have arrived. Let’s get this show on the road!” Locke calls out. Everyone else looks confused.
Suddenly out of the jungle emerges the mysterious young blonde boy.
“Indeed all of the candidates are assembled. As a reward all of your individual gifts is now maximized in their potential. Use them well.”
“Who the hell is he???” shouts Miles.
“This is the weirdest damn dramatic climax I’ve ever been to,” observes Frank, disgusted.
“Get in the chopper, Frank,” commands Ilana.
“What? I left it like a mile away though—”
“GET. IN. THE. CHOPPER. FRANK.”
“Alright, alright.”
Frank exits into the jungle.
Smoke Monster Locke turns to the rest of the assembled: “Well, then. How about first to the top gets to remake the universe in his or her own image?”
He smiles wryly before turning into the smoke monster and flying up the spiral staircase that winds around the entire tower.
With that, the race is on! Everyone starts running up the tower stairs while humorous upbeat music plays in the background, similar to the race to the treasure scene from the cat burglar Simpsons episode. Hurley quickly loses energy and shifts into a determined walking ascent. Suddenly a gigantic bird swoops up past Hurley and continues on, and with seeming purpose attacks the extras leftover from Smoke Monster Locke’s party, knocking them off the tower and sending them plummeting toward their dooms.
It’s victor cry as it continues up along the tower, leaving the humans far behind: “Hrrrrrl-EIIIIIIIIII!”
“Dude! It’s that bird again!” shouts Hurley.
“All of your friends are racing to the top of a ridiculously large tower on a magic island to confront you’re dead friend who’s possessed by a smoke monster and you’re freaked out by a goddamn bird!” exclaims Miles. “I really don’t get you, man.”
“Hey, why aren’t you racing to the top with the rest of them?” asks Hurley.
“I’ve already got what I want,” says Miles, clutching the bag of diamonds.
Jack runs determined, like T-1000s made flesh, up the tower stairs. He passes by Sawyer who watches with unrestrained distaste. Sawyer grimaces, shakes his head, and then speeds up to catch Jack.
Suddenly bodies start falling on the stairway from above, raining down on our heroes. They are the corpses of various cast members who died in past seasons. Daniel, Charlotte, Boone, Shannon, Libby, Analucia, Dogen, Lennon, Ethan, Alex, Rousseau, Carl, Arzt, Naomi, Michael, and Tom are among other less notable corpses. They rise from the ground, and proceed slowly toward our heroes, their faces gaunt and expressionless.
“Looooooosssst,” they mutter in unison.
Daniel stumbles toward Miles, who in turn trips his former compatriot, knocking him off of the tower and tumbling down to his doom.
“Sorry, Dan. Hey, what happened, happened, right?” he quips.
Charlotte watches Daniel fall, then turns toward Miles, twisting her head to the side as though questioning his actions.
“Oh, no one liked you anyway!” he says, pushing her off of the tower as well.
Jack and Sawyer attempt to dodge around the zombies and continue their ascent but Sawyer is waylaid by Juliet.
“Douuuuble Duuutcchh?” she asks, attempting to embrace Sawyer. He punches her in the face, knocking her to the ground. He looks down at her struggling to get up. He is angry, with tears in his eyes. With newfound determination he races after Jack.
Zombie Dogen flips down the staircase at Sayid who unlocks his now fully realized powers. He uses Kill to dispatch Dogen with ease. He turns to Shannon.
“But I looooove uuuuuu” she moans as he twists her head in a complete 180.
“I met someone else,” he returns as he lets the body fall to the ground.
“Myyyy Sissterrr. Love. Her. HER. LOOOOOST!” cries Boone, attempting to rush Sayid with help from Lennon. Sayid Kills and both explode in flames.
All of the corpses are dispatched in this manner, mostly by Sayid, since he is the Killing specialist after all. Meanwhile Jack and Sawyer continue their race to the top, with everyone else following in their wake.
Jack and Sawyer reach the summit, the top of the tower. At the center of it is a giant obelisk, at the base of which rests a giant wheel, which Locke is cranking with determination. This is it: either the candidates stop Locke or he wins the Game.
“STOP THIS!” shouts Jack, pulling out a gun and pointing it at Locke.
“It’s too late Jack!” says Locke, continuing to push the wheel.
Suddenly Sawyer pistol whips Jack from behind. Jack collapses.
“He’s right Jack. It’s over,” mutters Sawyer.
“Thank you, James,” says Locke. “Now come over here and help me with this crank.”
The bird arrives and swoops down on Locke, pecking at him and driving him away from the wheel. Locke turns to Sawyer, looking for help. Sawyer instead has Conned Locke and turned his gun him.
“Sweet dreams, Boogey-Man,” he quips, before unloading the clip on him.
Locke’s body shatters and the smoke monster emerges, tossing to the edge of the tower where he hangs for his life. It consumes the bird.
The other Losties arrive to this scene.
Kate sees Jack unconscious and Sawyer hanging from the ledge. She hesitates an instant before choosing to save Sawyer. She pulls him up and they look deeply into each other’s eyes. Then she remembers Jack and leaves to go check on him. Sawyer curses and punches the tower.
Illana stands before everyone as they watch the battle between smoke and bird. Illana holds an RPG.
“This is our chance! While it’s distracted we can destroy it. If everyone attacks at once we can beat it!”
“Maybe we should let the bird take care of it,” suggests Miles. “Hurley seems to think the bird is important or something, and it’s holding its own pretty well, I’d say.”
“Why doesn’t Mr. Killer over here take a shot at it,” suggests Sawyer, hobbling over to the group and gesturing to Sayid.
“Or I could just Kill you,” proposes Sayid with an evil smile.
“People, you need to listen to me! The whole reason I am here is to help you! Help! You! Not me! I don’t get anything out of this! Do you think I like this? That this is fun for me? Listening to you bicker and complain and question? I am doing you people a favor! But no, no gratitude, no thanks. Just more pointless talking! It makes me want to—” Ilana drops the RPG in disgust and explodes. (Audio of Sad Trombone).
Suddenly the whole tower shakes. During the rumbling a large object rises up to the tower’s spire, casting its shadow of the entire cast and obscuring the sun completely. The behemoth approaches, its every step a localized quake. It is the remains of Ajira Flight 316, reconstituted into a mechanized exoskeleton. Its pilot is Charles Widmore.
He laughs maniacally, launching a barrage of missiles into the monster. The large bird breaks away from the smoke monster and perches atop the obelisk.
Shot of Jack’s eye, with Locke scar, opening. He looks up to see Kate smiling at him.
“This Island is mine!” screams Widmore. “It belongs to me! And it is priceless. You aren’t good enough to drink my scotch, you certainly aren’t good enough to be on my Island.”
He opens fire with machine guns on the Losties who duck for cover. Kate and Jack are still separated from the group and Widmore turns his attention to them. Kate Runs Away with Jack, saving them both.
The fires from Widmore’s volley against the monster die down to reveal the smoke intact. It stretches out a smoke arm and rips of one of the mech’s arms. Widmore turns back to it and unleashes the flamethrower built into the chest of his mechanized monstrosity. The smoke is driven back. He turns back to the candidates, who are now trapped against the tower’s edge, flamethrower still ablaze. Suddenly the frame of his machine starts to creak and shake. Individual pieces begin to fly loose, screws and bolts. Sheet metal begins to tear off, shredding itself apart. A whirlwind of metal debris accumulates around the skeleton of the mech, Widmore screaming inside. A glowing ball of light slowly ascends from the Island below. It is a luminescent ball of magnetic energy manifested around Desmond. He stops to float at level with Widmore.
“Don’t worry, Charles. I’ll take care of your daughter, and your scotch for you while you’re away on your trip,” says Desmond.
“No! Magnus! Don’t!” screams Widmore in vain. The whirlwind of parts speeds up and rises into the air. Desmond sends the mech, and Widmore with it, shooting into space.
He lands and his magnet ball dissipates.
The candidates walk towards him but the smoke monster swoops in between them.
“That’s enough of that, brother,” says Desmond, holding his hand out and slowly closing his fist.
The smoke starts to vibrate, then condense and coalesce. It is forced into a human shape, the black shirted man.
“And I think you’d best come down as well,” says Desmond to the bird.
It swoops down and when the camera catches up to it on the spire’s ground it has taken the form of Jacob.
Jacob and Black Shirt stand beside the enormous wheel, staring each other down.
Desmond turns to the candidates. “You have to choose. You can all leave together with the black shirted man or one of you can take the place of the white shirted man.”
They all look around at each other. Claire is the first to make her move, knocking down Cindy and grabbing Zack and Emma. “You’re both named Aaron now! Aaron!” she screams as she carries them down the steps, giggling maniacally. She trips on the steps and they all tumble off of the tower, falling to their deaths.
Cindy screams in despair and rage. She turns on the others, livid. “This is all your fault! You people are monsters! Those kids were all I cared about! And your stupid, stupid conflict has gotten them killed!”
“Oops?” says Sayid with a grin.
Cindy screams again. Sayid Kills her.
“You really are a piece of work, you know that?” shouts Miles. Sayid Kills him as well.
“Anyone else?” he asks. No one answers. He smiles and walks down the steps of the tower, leaving everyone else behind him.
“Ok, so what now?” asks Sawyer. “Any of you geniuses have a bright idea?”
“I think maybe it’s time for them to stop pretending,” says Hurley slowly, carefully.
“Pretending? What do you mean, pretending?” asks Sun.
“I mean that’s still not what they really look like,” says Hurley.
“Why are we continuing to play this little game when we all know it has moved to the next stage?” asks Black Shirt.
A swirl of smoke blows away, revealing Mikhail.
“Mikhail? I thought you were dead,” says Kate.
“What about you?” Sawyer asks Jacob. “Who are you really?”
Jacob gets brighter, shines from within himself, a bright white light. When the light fades, Hurley is standing in his place. A different Hurley. His hair is white. This is a wise, aged Hurley. He wears an all white suit. In his hands is a rubik’s cube, except every side is white. Nonetheless he shifts the sides and tiles around, solving a puzzle no one else can understand.
Everyone looks at Jacob-Hurley and then at Hurley, who looks as surprised as everyone else.
“Dude,” he murmurs.
“Dude yourself, Hugo,” says Jacob-Hurley. His voice is deeper, bass-ier.
“Do not trust him,” cautions Mikhail. “He may look like your friend, but that man is not your friend.”
“Perhaps you ought not inflict such vicious slander onto me considering your own current circumstances?” responds Jacob-Hurley, with another turn of rubik’s cube. “I am more me than you are you, after all.”
Mikhail smiles his evil smile. “Perhaps.”
“Enough talk,” says Jack resolutely, marching up to the wheel. He looks at the two “men” at either side and starts pushing the wheel so that it rotates in Jacob-Hurley’s direction. Mikhail grimaces.
“I wouldn’t do that, my friend,” says Mikhail.
“And why’s that?” asks Jack, when Sawyer jumps on his back and throws him off of the wheel. The two men roll across the tower floor, grappling and punching each other. Jack manages to get on top of Sawyer and proceeds to beat him mercilessly. He gets up and walks back toward the wheel. Mikhail lunges and grabs Jack by the throat, lifting him clean off of the ground.
“I told you not to follow me, Jack. Now I have to kill one of you.”
Desmond raises his hand and points at Mikhail, who explodes into smoke. He recombines once more, this time in a bulkier form. Rather than Mikhail, he is revealed to be Mr. Eko. He is dressed in a luxurious black suit, black shirt, etc. He carries a deck of cards that he shuffles distractedly. Both the backs and faces of the cards appear to be completely black with nothing on them.
Jin and Sun look at each other. “Let’s get out of here, Sun. There is nothing for us to do here,” says Jin. He takes her hand. Their Love opens a portal. On the other side is the caves, but without the airplane wreckage. The caves from sometime long before the 815 crash. They step through the portal and it closes, leaving them to their fate.
The remaining persons suddenly hear the chopping noise of Frank’s helicopter.
It rises to face them. Over the sound of the helicopter Frank yells, “Come on! Let’s get the hell out of here!”
“We can’t!” shouts back Jack. “We have to finish this!”
He looks at the others, who are resolute as well, except Kate.
“Sorry, Jack,” she says, turning to the helicopter.
“You’re Running Away? Now?” he shouts.
“It’s what I do!” she shouts back, then jumps off of the tower spire, landing in the helicopter, which then turns and flies off.
Jack marches back toward the wheel. Eko grimaces but doesn’t attack, continuing to shuffle his cards.
“Wait just a sec, there, doc,” says Sawyer, getting up from the ground, bloodied and beaten. “Let’s think about this. Are you sure we should be pushing that damn wheel towards Grandpa Hurley over there?”
He turns to Jacob-Hurley. “What the hell is all this? Why are we supposed to push this damn wheel anyway?”
“Dude, it’s just a game,” replies Jacob-Hurley. “You shouldn’t take it so seriously.”
“I need you to trust me Sawyer,” says Jack. “I know what I’m supposed to do now, for the first time in my life.”
“We’re with you, dude,” replies Hurley, joining Jack in pushing the wheel. Sawyer sighs and starts pushing as well.
Jacob-Hurley smiles at Eko. The crystal set in the middle of the wheel begins to glow white. The white light gets brighter and brighter as they continue pushing. Jacob-Hurley makes one last move on his rubik’s cube, which clicks loudly to signify his victory. He looks at Eko.
“Checkmate, Mr. Eko.”
The white light envelopes the screen.
15 YEARS LATER
Shot of sail boat landing at familiar beach. Two young but fully grown blonde men, Aaron and Charlie. Exit the boat onto the beach. They lay down a blanket on the beach, and on top of the blanket a game board. They lay out a game of checkers, with black and white pieces. Aaron is black, Charlie is white. They play their game in silence, the only sounds heard being the rolling waves, the wind, and gulls. Aaron manages to reach Charlie’s end of the board with one of his pieces. He looks up and smiles, about to speak when an explosion shakes the beach and their game. They look up in the sky to see a 747, flaming and broken up into pieces, flying towards them at high velocity. The screen goes black at the sound of collision.
LOST
"Are you sure this is where you want to be?"
"Look around you!" says Sawyer.
He is holding Vincent in his arms. Jack and Kate look terrified.
"Sawyer don't..."
"Shut up, Jack!" interrupts Sawyer, "Freckles, you with me?"
"James, I-"
"Don't call me that!"
"Why do you keep interrupting everybody, dude?" Hurley chimes in.
"I got my damn reasons, tons o' fun."
"Sounds like somebody's having a temper tantrum." says Frank Lapidus.
Sawyer cocks Vincent like a shotgun and fires him at Frank. The Smoke Monster comes flying out Vincents mouth and kills Frank Lapidus. Everyone is astonished. Sawyer breaths heavily and stares everyone down one by one. Hurley. Miles. Jack. Ben. Kate. Richard Alpert. Claire. He stares them all down. The smoke monster retreats back into Vincents mouth. Vincent wimpers and then grows to 100 feet!
"So like I said..." Sawyer begins.
Vincent grows and grows until he is as large as an oil tanker.
"Look around you! There ain't nothin' here left to protect! Who's coming with me?"
Everyone but Jack boards the humongous Vincent by way oh him biting the back of their respective shirts and flinging them onto his mighty back. Sawyer hesitates to be the last one to board. He looks at Jack.
"Not too late, doc." Sawyer pleads.
"It is for me. I'm gonna stay." Jack responds.
"Ok cool."
Sawyer boards Vincent and joins the ensuing party onboard. They listen to Jimmy Buffett and drink real hard as Vincent does the doggy paddle all the way home. Jack looks on, smiling as the sun sets.
Jack turns and enters the jungle. He turns this way and that. Eventually he stops and heads in the opposite direction, then back the way he came. He doesn't recognize his surroundings. He runs until he hits the beach. He looks back at the jungle and puts a hand to his forehead in bewilderment.
LOST
He is holding Vincent in his arms. Jack and Kate look terrified.
"Sawyer don't..."
"Shut up, Jack!" interrupts Sawyer, "Freckles, you with me?"
"James, I-"
"Don't call me that!"
"Why do you keep interrupting everybody, dude?" Hurley chimes in.
"I got my damn reasons, tons o' fun."
"Sounds like somebody's having a temper tantrum." says Frank Lapidus.
Sawyer cocks Vincent like a shotgun and fires him at Frank. The Smoke Monster comes flying out Vincents mouth and kills Frank Lapidus. Everyone is astonished. Sawyer breaths heavily and stares everyone down one by one. Hurley. Miles. Jack. Ben. Kate. Richard Alpert. Claire. He stares them all down. The smoke monster retreats back into Vincents mouth. Vincent wimpers and then grows to 100 feet!
"So like I said..." Sawyer begins.
Vincent grows and grows until he is as large as an oil tanker.
"Look around you! There ain't nothin' here left to protect! Who's coming with me?"
Everyone but Jack boards the humongous Vincent by way oh him biting the back of their respective shirts and flinging them onto his mighty back. Sawyer hesitates to be the last one to board. He looks at Jack.
"Not too late, doc." Sawyer pleads.
"It is for me. I'm gonna stay." Jack responds.
"Ok cool."
Sawyer boards Vincent and joins the ensuing party onboard. They listen to Jimmy Buffett and drink real hard as Vincent does the doggy paddle all the way home. Jack looks on, smiling as the sun sets.
Jack turns and enters the jungle. He turns this way and that. Eventually he stops and heads in the opposite direction, then back the way he came. He doesn't recognize his surroundings. He runs until he hits the beach. He looks back at the jungle and puts a hand to his forehead in bewilderment.
LOST
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
Boonedoggle
The man in black is fighting Jack while the island is flashing through time. It flashes one last time as Jack stabs the man in black and it cuts to Jack's eye opening. It is back at the beginning of the series.
"And that's the way it ends. What do you think?" Boone is pitching a new TV show to JJ Abrams.
JJ Abrams leans back in his chair and says "I don't see it working as a series....maybe a MOVIE."
L O S T
"And that's the way it ends. What do you think?" Boone is pitching a new TV show to JJ Abrams.
JJ Abrams leans back in his chair and says "I don't see it working as a series....maybe a MOVIE."
L O S T
Friday, April 2, 2010
LOST but not FORGOTTEN
The Man in Black is successful. Widmore is dead, Claire is dead, Ben is Dead, Desmond is dead, Charlie comes back but is dead again; pretty much they're all dead. Except for the following...
Sayid and Frank Lapedus are the only guys left.
So The Man in Black says
"Alright it's time to go. Let's get on Ajira 316 and leave this place once and for all!"
Frank says "Why do you need to take us? Why can't we just be left alone?"
The Man in Black says "I need to recreate the events of how I got to the island."
The men accept this and they board the plane.
As the plane takes off the island submerges into water. Frank flies the plane and The Man in Black tells him to fly lower.
Frank says "If I fly any lower we might just hit the water"
The Man in Black says "Are you not capable of doing my bidding?"
Frank says "Now I never said that."
The Smoke Monster turns to smoke and flies out of the cockpit toward Sayid's seat. Sayid is calmly staring out of the window.
The Man in Black says "Are you still emotionless?"
Sayid says "Yes"
The Man in Black says "Good, then I need you to do me one last favor..."
"What is it?"
The Man in Black hands Sayid a box cutter.
He says "This is your destiny Sayid."
He turns into smoke, and the smoke fills the plane. The Smoke turns into hundreds of passengers as the plane is full.
Emotional music plays as Sayid looks at everyone on the plane.
Jack is there, with Sarah, and Christian. They look quite content, all wearing Red Sox hats.
Kate sits next to her Mother and Father. While they don't look happy; they look like things are getting better.
Miles and Pierre Chang are dressed in science outfits. Looks like they work together as dharma scientists.
Locke and Anthony Cooper talk about their hunting trip. Sawyer walks up to Cooper, hugs him, and says I forgive you. Locke isn't even in a wheel chair.
Michael, his wife, and Walt are having a gnarly time.
Hurley, Libby and their two children Claire and Charlie have had a wonderful vacation.
Sayid looks around at this happieness, and turns with a smile as if to find Nadia. But it is not Nadia, next to him... It is Omar, his brother.
Omar says "In Allah we trust brother..."
A cold look goes over Sayid's face. He walks up to the cockpit, opens the door, and stabs Frank Lapedus and co pilot Matt Parkman. Omar comes in and they start to fly the plane.
As Frank Lapedus dies, a voiceover says "I was supposed to fly that plane."
Ajira 316, flies into the World Trade Center.
Fade to black.
Later Illana, Richard Alpert, and Desmond stand over the rubble of the World Trade Center.
Illana picks up some ash and puts it into her bag.
"Do you think it will work?" she says.
"It has to," says Desmond, "or else they won and we..."
LOST
Sayid and Frank Lapedus are the only guys left.
So The Man in Black says
"Alright it's time to go. Let's get on Ajira 316 and leave this place once and for all!"
Frank says "Why do you need to take us? Why can't we just be left alone?"
The Man in Black says "I need to recreate the events of how I got to the island."
The men accept this and they board the plane.
As the plane takes off the island submerges into water. Frank flies the plane and The Man in Black tells him to fly lower.
Frank says "If I fly any lower we might just hit the water"
The Man in Black says "Are you not capable of doing my bidding?"
Frank says "Now I never said that."
The Smoke Monster turns to smoke and flies out of the cockpit toward Sayid's seat. Sayid is calmly staring out of the window.
The Man in Black says "Are you still emotionless?"
Sayid says "Yes"
The Man in Black says "Good, then I need you to do me one last favor..."
"What is it?"
The Man in Black hands Sayid a box cutter.
He says "This is your destiny Sayid."
He turns into smoke, and the smoke fills the plane. The Smoke turns into hundreds of passengers as the plane is full.
Emotional music plays as Sayid looks at everyone on the plane.
Jack is there, with Sarah, and Christian. They look quite content, all wearing Red Sox hats.
Kate sits next to her Mother and Father. While they don't look happy; they look like things are getting better.
Miles and Pierre Chang are dressed in science outfits. Looks like they work together as dharma scientists.
Locke and Anthony Cooper talk about their hunting trip. Sawyer walks up to Cooper, hugs him, and says I forgive you. Locke isn't even in a wheel chair.
Michael, his wife, and Walt are having a gnarly time.
Hurley, Libby and their two children Claire and Charlie have had a wonderful vacation.
Sayid looks around at this happieness, and turns with a smile as if to find Nadia. But it is not Nadia, next to him... It is Omar, his brother.
Omar says "In Allah we trust brother..."
A cold look goes over Sayid's face. He walks up to the cockpit, opens the door, and stabs Frank Lapedus and co pilot Matt Parkman. Omar comes in and they start to fly the plane.
As Frank Lapedus dies, a voiceover says "I was supposed to fly that plane."
Ajira 316, flies into the World Trade Center.
Fade to black.
Later Illana, Richard Alpert, and Desmond stand over the rubble of the World Trade Center.
Illana picks up some ash and puts it into her bag.
"Do you think it will work?" she says.
"It has to," says Desmond, "or else they won and we..."
LOST
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Air China Flight CA982
bags are packed and im almost out the door, but not before i predict what i think is in store.
On the next episode we find out that what widmore has in the cabin room is neither desmond or penny but is in fact sun and jins child. widmore is trying to use the kid to get sun and jin to be on his side. sun is pissed, jin says, hey lets just make another baby, wha chicka wha wha. there will be a lot of guessing as to who the proper kwon is but it wont be revealed yet but widmore is looking more and more like an agent of the man in black and we havent seen the last of the asian sensations. meanwhile locke and jacob are going to touch dicks. first one to commit a boner loses the island.
Episode after that we find out desmond has traveled back in time and is the father of jacob and smokey the bear. no actually he died when ben shot him before going back to the island. sorry, but the present world is a terrible place, thats why everyones here and fighting the rain cloud, so that in the parallel world desmond is the captain of a world cup boat racing team and looks incredibly handsome with the wind through his hair and penny is there and she just glows and their son charlie is a musical vituoso. if only he and david sheppard could meet and start a rock band...
...jin and suns daughter will play keys, aaron will sing and theyll call themselves The Magnetic Fields and sing songs about heart break and the lower east side.
EVERYONE LOVES HUGO!
hurley gets to play santa claus and dole out powers to all the good guys who are about to start the big battle:
Jack gains the ability to heal everyone he touches but also dish out the pain with his fists of fury.
Frank grows wings and can now fly. Drunk.
Ben can morph into any animal and gain their abilities.
Illiana gets a sword that can bend time and stab you in the back when you thought it was coming straight at you. But she will never use it, or be important at all.
Richard can freeze people in place like Prof. X
And Sun and Jin learn that they can go super sayan and then merge into Jinswon.
That or a bunch of ghosts are going to show up and tell a lot of stories to distract hurley while they drink all of his ecto cooler.
Who's the last recruit going to be? Why its daniel faraday! jacob says "what? i didnt pick you, what are you doing here?" DF "you didnt pick me, but i picked you. i know its been a long time but remember, youre just a man. a man i picked to be the first person to watch over this mini universe i created. oh and the smoke monster, hes just the living representation of the evil thoughts and plans i could have to use my mastery of the physical world and control everything. but im a scientist, i like to observe, not control. Thats why Im having there be 3 more episodes to play out even though I just wrapped up everything."
Then ill be back in time to see Jack become the candidate we always knew he would be. And sawyer and ben are going to die saving the island. and hugo is going to become the island.
Now its time for me to fly in a plane over the south pacific. Heres hoping it crashes on an island. See you in another life brother[s and sisters].
Love,
James
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Newhart
The final episode ends with all the remaining Losties getting on a plane to leave the island. Suddenly the smoke monster comes streaming in through all of the vents, filling the cabin and the screen goes black.
Then a light is turned on, and viewers see Charlie Salinger in bed, saying, "Honey, you won't believe the dream I just had." Kirsten (Paula Devicq, Charlie's wife from Party of Five) turns on the light and rolls over to speak with him. The bedroom is a recreation from Party of Five, and — in a parody of a 1980s television vogue — the entire Lost series (and presumably Jack Shephard's entire existence) is revealed to have been nothing more than a dream in the mind of Matthew Fox's 1990s character. Charlie tells Kirsten that in the dream, he lived in a weird uncharted island surrounded by strange people: a beautiful escaped convict, an angry con man, a crippled hunter, a heroin-addicted rock star, and a group of Others trying to kill them all and prevent them from getting off the island.
http://www.reddit.com/user/takatori wrote this on reddit
Then a light is turned on, and viewers see Charlie Salinger in bed, saying, "Honey, you won't believe the dream I just had." Kirsten (Paula Devicq, Charlie's wife from Party of Five) turns on the light and rolls over to speak with him. The bedroom is a recreation from Party of Five, and — in a parody of a 1980s television vogue — the entire Lost series (and presumably Jack Shephard's entire existence) is revealed to have been nothing more than a dream in the mind of Matthew Fox's 1990s character. Charlie tells Kirsten that in the dream, he lived in a weird uncharted island surrounded by strange people: a beautiful escaped convict, an angry con man, a crippled hunter, a heroin-addicted rock star, and a group of Others trying to kill them all and prevent them from getting off the island.
http://www.reddit.com/user/takatori wrote this on reddit
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
The Beatles
Desmond has a barrow in the market place
Penny is the singer in a band
Desmond says to Penny - girl I like your face
And Penny says this as she takes him by the hand
Obladi oblada life goes on brotha
Lala how the life goes on
Obladi Oblada life goes on brotha
Lala how the life goes on
Desmond takes a trolly to the jewellers stores
Buys a twenty carat golden ring
Takes it back to Penny waiting at the door
And as he gives it to her she begins to sing
In a couple of years they have built a home sweet home
With a couple of kids running in the yard
Of Desmond and Penny Hume
Happy ever after in the market place
Desmond lets the children lend a hand
Penny stays at home and does her pretty face
And in the evening she's a singer with the band
In a couple of years they have built a home sweet home
With a couple of kids running in the yard
Of Desmond and Penny Hume
Happy ever after in the market place
Penny lets the children lend a hand
Desmond stays at home and does his pretty face
And in the evening she's a singer with the band
And if you want some fun - take Obladiblada.
Penny is the singer in a band
Desmond says to Penny - girl I like your face
And Penny says this as she takes him by the hand
Obladi oblada life goes on brotha
Lala how the life goes on
Obladi Oblada life goes on brotha
Lala how the life goes on
Desmond takes a trolly to the jewellers stores
Buys a twenty carat golden ring
Takes it back to Penny waiting at the door
And as he gives it to her she begins to sing
In a couple of years they have built a home sweet home
With a couple of kids running in the yard
Of Desmond and Penny Hume
Happy ever after in the market place
Desmond lets the children lend a hand
Penny stays at home and does her pretty face
And in the evening she's a singer with the band
In a couple of years they have built a home sweet home
With a couple of kids running in the yard
Of Desmond and Penny Hume
Happy ever after in the market place
Penny lets the children lend a hand
Desmond stays at home and does his pretty face
And in the evening she's a singer with the band
And if you want some fun - take Obladiblada.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
science
Jacob is telling Jack everything.
And I mean everything.
Jack is crying a lot, but not enough to explain the amount of water starting to pour down onto Jacob. Jacob: "That's strange, it isn't time to rain yet..."
A massive tsunami engulfs the entire island. The Black Rock? Washed away. Mikhail's cows? Swimming for their lives. Hurley is surfing on one of the wings of Yemi's plane. The cold water wakes Nikki and Paulo up. They start fighting about diamonds. Come on guys, this isn't the time or the place. The island starts rapidly/randomly moving through time. The times get all mixed up. Mr. Eko is fighting a young Charles Widmore. That's how messed up everything is. The last flash leaves our Losties trying to stay afloat when they look up and see the STATUE. But this is not the statue they have seen before. It is a statue of Daniel Faraday.
Jack: "Oh, Faraday's here?"
We zoom out to a wide shot of all the characters who have ever been on lost swimming. From Dave to Charlie to DJ Qualls to Ms. Klugh.
We zoom out wider to see the entire island. Mostly covered in water. Frank Lapidus is in a helicopter hovering above the carnage. "If I wanted to take a bath I would have grabbed my rubber ducky."
We zoom out wider still. We can now see a giant hand coming down and covering the entire island and the ocean surrounding it. Only it isn't a giant hand. It is a normal sized hand.
Zoom out one more time and Daniel Faraday is picking up a petri dish. "Another failed island experiment......Or was it?" He looks into the camera.
L O S T
And I mean everything.
Jack is crying a lot, but not enough to explain the amount of water starting to pour down onto Jacob. Jacob: "That's strange, it isn't time to rain yet..."
A massive tsunami engulfs the entire island. The Black Rock? Washed away. Mikhail's cows? Swimming for their lives. Hurley is surfing on one of the wings of Yemi's plane. The cold water wakes Nikki and Paulo up. They start fighting about diamonds. Come on guys, this isn't the time or the place. The island starts rapidly/randomly moving through time. The times get all mixed up. Mr. Eko is fighting a young Charles Widmore. That's how messed up everything is. The last flash leaves our Losties trying to stay afloat when they look up and see the STATUE. But this is not the statue they have seen before. It is a statue of Daniel Faraday.
Jack: "Oh, Faraday's here?"
We zoom out to a wide shot of all the characters who have ever been on lost swimming. From Dave to Charlie to DJ Qualls to Ms. Klugh.
We zoom out wider to see the entire island. Mostly covered in water. Frank Lapidus is in a helicopter hovering above the carnage. "If I wanted to take a bath I would have grabbed my rubber ducky."
We zoom out wider still. We can now see a giant hand coming down and covering the entire island and the ocean surrounding it. Only it isn't a giant hand. It is a normal sized hand.
Zoom out one more time and Daniel Faraday is picking up a petri dish. "Another failed island experiment......Or was it?" He looks into the camera.
L O S T
Friday, March 12, 2010
Oh man, you guys are not going to BELIEVE the way this show ends. I never saw it coming. Okay. Okay.
So.
It is the jungle. So many guns. One of them goes off, totally on it's own, and hits Juliet in the forehead - but she doesn't die. Is Juliet immortal?
Suddenly, we are in the past - or are we? In any case, Desmond, Ben and Jin are playing miniature golf in Florida right outside University of Tampa campus. Neither Ben nor Desmond know it, but Jin is cheating. Ben and Desmond cannot believe she is so good at mini golf, and they both say "I thought WE were the ones who where supposed to be good at putting stuff in holes, right!?!?" Then they kiss.
Flash forward (or back) to Juliet. Her head is bleeding a lot, but she doesn't seem to mind. In fact, she cuts it off and puts on one of the heads she has hanging from her belt loop - Jin's head, in fact. It is a perfect fit. Juliet sees a figure in the distance - Richard Albert? yup. He and Frank Lapidus are walking toward her carrying a LOT of lion meat - what are they doing so far from the laboratory? Who knows, but thank god they are here, she is very hungry. Little does she know, they are, too. Juliet eats a lot of the lion meat without saying thank you, then Frank cuts off her hands and feeds them to Richard. Juliet says "why!?" through Jin's mouth, and dies this time. Richard says "it was your fate."
All of a sudden, it is the past for sure now. Sayid and Jack are cutting gym class so they can play gin rumy and take shots under the bleachers of the football field. They are children. Sayid says "I am moving away", and Jack says "Fuck you, you are my best friend." They don't kiss, but they want to, but not in a gay way. Sayid says "Forgive me". Then he punches Jack in the face and tries to run away, but he runs right into Rose, who followed them out there to see if she could nab some of that tasty drink. She saw what happened and is going to tell on Sayid. He promises never to punch Jack in the face again. Jack, meanwhile, stuffed a lot of thistles down Sayid's pants, so when he sits down, ouch! Jack runs away and finds Ana Lucia so they can make out at the lockers.
Flash forward to Ana Lucia making out with Walt. So many guns. One goes off and hits a tree next to Walt, he pretends to be wounded, Ana Lucia starts to cry and panic and while she is flustered, Walt takes a hunting knife and rips out her internal organs. She dies in his arms, and he is crying so much. Jacob walks out from behind a tree and says "Well done." What the fuck, Jacob!?!
Jacob and Walt walk over to the beach and sit down to take in the view post kill. They talk about what kind of men they are. They don't know that Claire and Keamy are behind them. Claire comes over to Jacob and asks him for a cigarette. He laughs and says, are you kidding me? Claire is like, no I am NOT kidding, and lights his hair on fire because she now has magic hands. Keamy just watches and laughs and occasionally kicks some sand in Walt's eyes. Walt is too scared to do anything. Finally, Jacob burns to death, and Walt is forced by Claire to take his body to The Smoke Monster. The Smoke Monster eats Jacob's toasted body, then eats Walt, then eats Keamy, then tries to eat Claire, but she has magic hands until sun down, so she is safe until then.
Whoa, where did Sun come from!? I dunno, but he brought Charlie! They and Claire go banana picking, then they want to find out where they can get some lion meat. Whoa, oh my god, they stumble upon the lion meat and Juliet/Jin. How did this happen? Regardless, they eat the lion meat and try and salvage some of Juliet's clothes s they can make ruck sacks with them. While they are stitching their sacks, Eko and Hurly waltz up and scare them. Those goofballs! What have they been doing all day? Eating fish, of course. But they always have room for some lion meat. Out of nowhere, guns are heard. A bullet goes through Charlie's tummy.
The PAST! Michael and Hurly and Sawyer just finished the LSATs. They hop in the car, give Vincent a pat, and off they go to the gentlemen's club to celebrate! On the way, Michael tells the guys he is getting married. They saw it coming! Shannon is going to be one lucky lady! Cut to, Shannon in her wedding gown. It is the day of the ceremony. Hurly and Sawyer are there- but where is Michael? Making out with Kate in the hallway in front of Shannon's mom. Really good timing, asshole. The wedding is OFF!
We are in the car with Kate as she drives past the five and dime and stops finally at a rusty old out house in middle of nowhere. She walks over and gives it three knocks. A voice says, come iiiinnnn! Daniel Faraday! Oh my god!? It was you all this time!?!?! They kiss.
The jungle! Kate and Mikhail are roping wild boars. Kate smells something familiar. Daniel Faraday walks up behind her and picks her up from the crotch - is he going to toss her or something? No, they just always had this joke; whoa, Kate is so light that Daniel can pick her up by the crotch, and Daniel is so strong, whoa, they are a couple - that is from the past, but you can see it in their eyes. They want to kiss, but Mikhail needs help, this one wild boar is really hard to rope. Daniel says he will be back after dusk after he has killed Claire. Kate asks, where is Jack? Daniel says - forget about him, he has beans for brains.
Sawyer and Bernard are being very still. They see what they believe is a horrible supernatural thing happening. Basically, Locke and Boone have met up, eaten sandwiches, played a game of chess, and are now trying to merge their bodies together to create one person. They finally do, and that person is Boone-Locke. Boone-Locke looks up and sees Sawyer and Bernard. Hello, gentlemen, he says. Sawyer is like, WHY did you DO this!?!? Now we will NEVER know what we were supposed to individually do with our lives, because you guys fucking merged yourselves! Boone-Locke says, Exactly - you are not supposed to know.
ALL OF A SUDDEN DANIEL FARADAY IS RIGHT NEXT TO JACK AND HE IS RIPPING OUT JACK'S EYES AND THEN JACK IS RIPPING OFF DANIEL FARADAY'S JAW! THE SMOKE MONSTER MAKES THE SUN GO DOWN EARLY AND RIPS UP CLAIRES BODY, INFECTS IT WITH POISON, AND MAKES EVERY EAT IT. SAWYER, BOONE-LOCKE, KATE AND JAW-LESS DANIEL FARADAY SURVIVE. SAWYER LOOKS AT KATE AND PUNCHES HER TUMMY, SHE DIES OF INTERNAL BLEEDING - HE JUST DID IT BECAUSE HE WAS SO FED UP WITH HER. DANIEL FARADAY GIVES HIS LOWER JAW TO BOONE-LOCKE. SAWYER WALKS INTO THE OCEAN AND NEVER COMES BACK, HE DEFINITELY DROWNS. BOONE-LOCKE LOOK AT THE SMOKE MONSTER AND THE SMOKE MONSTER TELLS BOONE-LOCKE THAT IT IS ACTUALLY EVERYONE'S DEAD CHILDHOOD SOUL COMING BACK TO REPRIMAND THEM FOR FUCKING UP ALL OF THEIR CHILDHOOD DREAMS. it lets boone-locke go, because it doesn't care about merged folk.
Boone-Locke makes a run for it and get in a helicopter he sees. The helicopter crashes on another island. Whaaaat?...
The End.
So.
It is the jungle. So many guns. One of them goes off, totally on it's own, and hits Juliet in the forehead - but she doesn't die. Is Juliet immortal?
Suddenly, we are in the past - or are we? In any case, Desmond, Ben and Jin are playing miniature golf in Florida right outside University of Tampa campus. Neither Ben nor Desmond know it, but Jin is cheating. Ben and Desmond cannot believe she is so good at mini golf, and they both say "I thought WE were the ones who where supposed to be good at putting stuff in holes, right!?!?" Then they kiss.
Flash forward (or back) to Juliet. Her head is bleeding a lot, but she doesn't seem to mind. In fact, she cuts it off and puts on one of the heads she has hanging from her belt loop - Jin's head, in fact. It is a perfect fit. Juliet sees a figure in the distance - Richard Albert? yup. He and Frank Lapidus are walking toward her carrying a LOT of lion meat - what are they doing so far from the laboratory? Who knows, but thank god they are here, she is very hungry. Little does she know, they are, too. Juliet eats a lot of the lion meat without saying thank you, then Frank cuts off her hands and feeds them to Richard. Juliet says "why!?" through Jin's mouth, and dies this time. Richard says "it was your fate."
All of a sudden, it is the past for sure now. Sayid and Jack are cutting gym class so they can play gin rumy and take shots under the bleachers of the football field. They are children. Sayid says "I am moving away", and Jack says "Fuck you, you are my best friend." They don't kiss, but they want to, but not in a gay way. Sayid says "Forgive me". Then he punches Jack in the face and tries to run away, but he runs right into Rose, who followed them out there to see if she could nab some of that tasty drink. She saw what happened and is going to tell on Sayid. He promises never to punch Jack in the face again. Jack, meanwhile, stuffed a lot of thistles down Sayid's pants, so when he sits down, ouch! Jack runs away and finds Ana Lucia so they can make out at the lockers.
Flash forward to Ana Lucia making out with Walt. So many guns. One goes off and hits a tree next to Walt, he pretends to be wounded, Ana Lucia starts to cry and panic and while she is flustered, Walt takes a hunting knife and rips out her internal organs. She dies in his arms, and he is crying so much. Jacob walks out from behind a tree and says "Well done." What the fuck, Jacob!?!
Jacob and Walt walk over to the beach and sit down to take in the view post kill. They talk about what kind of men they are. They don't know that Claire and Keamy are behind them. Claire comes over to Jacob and asks him for a cigarette. He laughs and says, are you kidding me? Claire is like, no I am NOT kidding, and lights his hair on fire because she now has magic hands. Keamy just watches and laughs and occasionally kicks some sand in Walt's eyes. Walt is too scared to do anything. Finally, Jacob burns to death, and Walt is forced by Claire to take his body to The Smoke Monster. The Smoke Monster eats Jacob's toasted body, then eats Walt, then eats Keamy, then tries to eat Claire, but she has magic hands until sun down, so she is safe until then.
Whoa, where did Sun come from!? I dunno, but he brought Charlie! They and Claire go banana picking, then they want to find out where they can get some lion meat. Whoa, oh my god, they stumble upon the lion meat and Juliet/Jin. How did this happen? Regardless, they eat the lion meat and try and salvage some of Juliet's clothes s they can make ruck sacks with them. While they are stitching their sacks, Eko and Hurly waltz up and scare them. Those goofballs! What have they been doing all day? Eating fish, of course. But they always have room for some lion meat. Out of nowhere, guns are heard. A bullet goes through Charlie's tummy.
The PAST! Michael and Hurly and Sawyer just finished the LSATs. They hop in the car, give Vincent a pat, and off they go to the gentlemen's club to celebrate! On the way, Michael tells the guys he is getting married. They saw it coming! Shannon is going to be one lucky lady! Cut to, Shannon in her wedding gown. It is the day of the ceremony. Hurly and Sawyer are there- but where is Michael? Making out with Kate in the hallway in front of Shannon's mom. Really good timing, asshole. The wedding is OFF!
We are in the car with Kate as she drives past the five and dime and stops finally at a rusty old out house in middle of nowhere. She walks over and gives it three knocks. A voice says, come iiiinnnn! Daniel Faraday! Oh my god!? It was you all this time!?!?! They kiss.
The jungle! Kate and Mikhail are roping wild boars. Kate smells something familiar. Daniel Faraday walks up behind her and picks her up from the crotch - is he going to toss her or something? No, they just always had this joke; whoa, Kate is so light that Daniel can pick her up by the crotch, and Daniel is so strong, whoa, they are a couple - that is from the past, but you can see it in their eyes. They want to kiss, but Mikhail needs help, this one wild boar is really hard to rope. Daniel says he will be back after dusk after he has killed Claire. Kate asks, where is Jack? Daniel says - forget about him, he has beans for brains.
Sawyer and Bernard are being very still. They see what they believe is a horrible supernatural thing happening. Basically, Locke and Boone have met up, eaten sandwiches, played a game of chess, and are now trying to merge their bodies together to create one person. They finally do, and that person is Boone-Locke. Boone-Locke looks up and sees Sawyer and Bernard. Hello, gentlemen, he says. Sawyer is like, WHY did you DO this!?!? Now we will NEVER know what we were supposed to individually do with our lives, because you guys fucking merged yourselves! Boone-Locke says, Exactly - you are not supposed to know.
ALL OF A SUDDEN DANIEL FARADAY IS RIGHT NEXT TO JACK AND HE IS RIPPING OUT JACK'S EYES AND THEN JACK IS RIPPING OFF DANIEL FARADAY'S JAW! THE SMOKE MONSTER MAKES THE SUN GO DOWN EARLY AND RIPS UP CLAIRES BODY, INFECTS IT WITH POISON, AND MAKES EVERY EAT IT. SAWYER, BOONE-LOCKE, KATE AND JAW-LESS DANIEL FARADAY SURVIVE. SAWYER LOOKS AT KATE AND PUNCHES HER TUMMY, SHE DIES OF INTERNAL BLEEDING - HE JUST DID IT BECAUSE HE WAS SO FED UP WITH HER. DANIEL FARADAY GIVES HIS LOWER JAW TO BOONE-LOCKE. SAWYER WALKS INTO THE OCEAN AND NEVER COMES BACK, HE DEFINITELY DROWNS. BOONE-LOCKE LOOK AT THE SMOKE MONSTER AND THE SMOKE MONSTER TELLS BOONE-LOCKE THAT IT IS ACTUALLY EVERYONE'S DEAD CHILDHOOD SOUL COMING BACK TO REPRIMAND THEM FOR FUCKING UP ALL OF THEIR CHILDHOOD DREAMS. it lets boone-locke go, because it doesn't care about merged folk.
Boone-Locke makes a run for it and get in a helicopter he sees. The helicopter crashes on another island. Whaaaat?...
The End.
TIME
"Land ho!" yells Magnus Hanso from the deck of the Black Rock. The poop deck, that is. "Richard, my trustworthy first mate, what shall we name this island?"
"How about Captain Richard Alpert's awesome island?" replies Richard Alpert as he stabs Magnus Hanso. "You'll never get away with this, Alpert."
"Oh but I already have. I am your captain now!"
Suddenly the Black Rock begins to shake and come alive. Chains grab Richard Alpert and the ship launches into the air. Landing on the island. Everyone is dead except Richard.
"Why did this happen to me?" Richard questions his life and tries to escape the chains to no avail. Just as he has run out of strength, Vincent the dog runs out of the jungle.
"The dog. Go get help, boy. Go get him."
"Bark bark bark." Vincent runs off into the jungle leaving Richard alone for an extended period of time. Hours? Days? Years? Who knows?
Richard has a beard now from being tied up for so long. "Time is my enemy and I must tame it." He hears someone in the jungle. "Hello? Are you him?" "Aye, brotha." Says Desmond Hume as he emerges from the jungle. "I hear you've got a little problem with time, brotha."
"Yes, can you help me?"
"Aye."
Desmond explains everything. "Jacob is actually Father Time. A physical manifestation of the concept of linear time. We must destroy him once and for all to free ourselfs from this cage of temporal entropy."
"But Jacob is already dead. How can we destroy him any more than that?"
"Jacob is only dead in this reality. We must destroy him on a quantum level."
Desmond, Richard, and Vincent then spend 6 more seasons jumping into different parallel universes. It's awesome.
"How about Captain Richard Alpert's awesome island?" replies Richard Alpert as he stabs Magnus Hanso. "You'll never get away with this, Alpert."
"Oh but I already have. I am your captain now!"
Suddenly the Black Rock begins to shake and come alive. Chains grab Richard Alpert and the ship launches into the air. Landing on the island. Everyone is dead except Richard.
"Why did this happen to me?" Richard questions his life and tries to escape the chains to no avail. Just as he has run out of strength, Vincent the dog runs out of the jungle.
"The dog. Go get help, boy. Go get him."
"Bark bark bark." Vincent runs off into the jungle leaving Richard alone for an extended period of time. Hours? Days? Years? Who knows?
Richard has a beard now from being tied up for so long. "Time is my enemy and I must tame it." He hears someone in the jungle. "Hello? Are you him?" "Aye, brotha." Says Desmond Hume as he emerges from the jungle. "I hear you've got a little problem with time, brotha."
"Yes, can you help me?"
"Aye."
Desmond explains everything. "Jacob is actually Father Time. A physical manifestation of the concept of linear time. We must destroy him once and for all to free ourselfs from this cage of temporal entropy."
"But Jacob is already dead. How can we destroy him any more than that?"
"Jacob is only dead in this reality. We must destroy him on a quantum level."
Desmond, Richard, and Vincent then spend 6 more seasons jumping into different parallel universes. It's awesome.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Previously on Locke
The guy who does the "Previously on Lost" voice is sitting around at a party in the dorms. Everyone's real stoned and keeps trying to get him to do the voice. He's all high and shit going like "I don't do that voice for under 2 grand a day y'all!" And they keep on pestering him until he finally does it.
"Previously on LOST."
The place goes apeshit. Two kids doing a keg stand do an upside down spit take just as the RA walks in. A non-traditional student, the RA looks just like John Locke!
"Holy shit!" someone says "It's Locke."
"Locke, you mean like from Lost?"
"Yeah dude!" Says Hurley.
"No, I just look like that actor. And you guys are being way too loud."
"It's this guy's fault dude." Says Hurley, pointing to the narrator guy.
The narrator gets this "oh shit" look on his face as the RA who looks like Locke grabs him by the shirt and drags him out of the dorm building.
The next morning we see the narrator's eye open. He is surrounded by party litter just outside the dorm building. Having little recollection of the night before or how he got there, he realizes that he is hopelessly...
LOST.
"Previously on LOST."
The place goes apeshit. Two kids doing a keg stand do an upside down spit take just as the RA walks in. A non-traditional student, the RA looks just like John Locke!
"Holy shit!" someone says "It's Locke."
"Locke, you mean like from Lost?"
"Yeah dude!" Says Hurley.
"No, I just look like that actor. And you guys are being way too loud."
"It's this guy's fault dude." Says Hurley, pointing to the narrator guy.
The narrator gets this "oh shit" look on his face as the RA who looks like Locke grabs him by the shirt and drags him out of the dorm building.
The next morning we see the narrator's eye open. He is surrounded by party litter just outside the dorm building. Having little recollection of the night before or how he got there, he realizes that he is hopelessly...
LOST.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
POST MODERN
Hurley, Sawyer, Miles, and Desmond are cruising around the island in a Dharma van listening to a mixtape featuring the following tracklist:
1. "You All Everybody" - Driveshaft
2. "Make Your Own Kind of Music" - Mama Cass
3. "Downtown" - Petula Clark
4. "Wonderwall" - Oasis
5. "Rump Shaker" - Wreckx-n-Effect
6. "Carrie Anne" - The Hollies
7. "Good Vibrations" - The Beach Boys
8. "Search & Destroy" - The Stooges
9. "Catch a Falling Star" - Perry Como
Sawyer and Desmond are drunk in the back on Dharma Rum. Sawyer from the back of the van yells out "Hey, John Cusack, this mixtape ain't half bad." Hurley is really stoned and says "Thanks man, I made it for Libby." Miles is driving. Miles turns to Hurley and asks "So what do we do now that this whole Jacob thing is finally over?" "I dunno, dude. But I'm pretty stoked we found that blast door map. And even more stoked that every time it said 'Cerberus' it actually meant 'Cannabis'. Far out, right?" Miles says "Yeah totally, hey pass that over here."
Just then they hit a bump in the road and the glove compartment pops open. Out falls the script to LOST. Hurley says "Dude, what?" Desmond replies "Well don't just sit there looking at it, brother. Read the bloody thing."
Hurley opens to the end of the script. It says:
Just then they hit a bump in the road and the glove compartment pops open. Out falls the script to LOST. Hurley says "Dude, what?" Desmond replies "Well don't just sit there looking at it, brother. Read the bloody thing."
Hurley opens to the end of the script. It says:
Just then they hit a bump in the road and the glove compartment pops open. Out falls the script to LOST. Hurely says "Dude, what?" Desmond replies "Well don't just sit there looking at it brother. Read the bloody thing."
Hurley opens to the end of the script. It says:
AND SO ON AND SO ON AND SO ON.
1. "You All Everybody" - Driveshaft
2. "Make Your Own Kind of Music" - Mama Cass
3. "Downtown" - Petula Clark
4. "Wonderwall" - Oasis
5. "Rump Shaker" - Wreckx-n-Effect
6. "Carrie Anne" - The Hollies
7. "Good Vibrations" - The Beach Boys
8. "Search & Destroy" - The Stooges
9. "Catch a Falling Star" - Perry Como
Sawyer and Desmond are drunk in the back on Dharma Rum. Sawyer from the back of the van yells out "Hey, John Cusack, this mixtape ain't half bad." Hurley is really stoned and says "Thanks man, I made it for Libby." Miles is driving. Miles turns to Hurley and asks "So what do we do now that this whole Jacob thing is finally over?" "I dunno, dude. But I'm pretty stoked we found that blast door map. And even more stoked that every time it said 'Cerberus' it actually meant 'Cannabis'. Far out, right?" Miles says "Yeah totally, hey pass that over here."
Just then they hit a bump in the road and the glove compartment pops open. Out falls the script to LOST. Hurley says "Dude, what?" Desmond replies "Well don't just sit there looking at it, brother. Read the bloody thing."
Hurley opens to the end of the script. It says:
Just then they hit a bump in the road and the glove compartment pops open. Out falls the script to LOST. Hurley says "Dude, what?" Desmond replies "Well don't just sit there looking at it, brother. Read the bloody thing."
Hurley opens to the end of the script. It says:
Just then they hit a bump in the road and the glove compartment pops open. Out falls the script to LOST. Hurely says "Dude, what?" Desmond replies "Well don't just sit there looking at it brother. Read the bloody thing."
Hurley opens to the end of the script. It says:
AND SO ON AND SO ON AND SO ON.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
The Stars
A helicopter flies over the island. The helicopter radio is playing "Downtown." We see the pilot crying, it is Frank Lupidus.
As Frank weeps, he lands his helicopter in the hole where the hatch used to be and descends into a secret lair.
Lupidus exits the helipcopter. He steps out into a control center filled with televisions and large blinking buttons. The countdown clock says 108. Frank walks toward the clock, wiping the tears from his eyes.
A man with white hair stops him. "Listening to that song again, huh Frank?" As the man turns around, we see it's Charles Widmore.
"Yeah, Charlie. Get's me everytime." says Lupidus.
"You should let silly things like that get to you, I never do" Charles replies.
"I know. It will all be over soon."
Lupidus stands under the countdown clock, looking up. "Only 108 minutes," he says to himself. "I can fly from LAX to SFO in less time than that."
Christian Shepard appears, he's dragging a cannon behind him.
"The cannons are waiting to be loaded. Bring out the artillery!"
Charles Widmore brings out Sayid, Kate, Shannon, Boone, Charlie, Claire, Mr. Eko, Nikki, Paulo, Daniel, Miles, Charlotte, Jack, Sawyer, Hurley, Jin and Sun.
"It's time we showed our true faces." Charles, Lupidus and Christian all take off their races revealing their true alien-creature selves. They have horrifyingly ugly faces comprised of labrador retriever noses, beady bird eyes and malnourished baby cheeks.
"What are you?!" Screams Jack as he tries to break free from his chains.
"We are aliens from another planet, responsible for creating the universe. We brought you here to help us."
"Help you do what?"
"Finish the sky."
One by one the LOSTies are stuffed in the cannon and shot into the sky. Sun and Jin request that they are shot into the sky together. Charles Widmore, and his labrador retriever nose, oblidges.
After all the LOSTies are gone, Charles Widmore, Frank Lupidus and Christian Shepard stand around and furiously shake each other's hands. "Congratulations comrades. We've finished Earth and boy, does it look beautiful." The three of them look up into the sky to see a new constellation beaming in the night sky. The stars spell out
LOST
As Frank weeps, he lands his helicopter in the hole where the hatch used to be and descends into a secret lair.
Lupidus exits the helipcopter. He steps out into a control center filled with televisions and large blinking buttons. The countdown clock says 108. Frank walks toward the clock, wiping the tears from his eyes.
A man with white hair stops him. "Listening to that song again, huh Frank?" As the man turns around, we see it's Charles Widmore.
"Yeah, Charlie. Get's me everytime." says Lupidus.
"You should let silly things like that get to you, I never do" Charles replies.
"I know. It will all be over soon."
Lupidus stands under the countdown clock, looking up. "Only 108 minutes," he says to himself. "I can fly from LAX to SFO in less time than that."
Christian Shepard appears, he's dragging a cannon behind him.
"The cannons are waiting to be loaded. Bring out the artillery!"
Charles Widmore brings out Sayid, Kate, Shannon, Boone, Charlie, Claire, Mr. Eko, Nikki, Paulo, Daniel, Miles, Charlotte, Jack, Sawyer, Hurley, Jin and Sun.
"It's time we showed our true faces." Charles, Lupidus and Christian all take off their races revealing their true alien-creature selves. They have horrifyingly ugly faces comprised of labrador retriever noses, beady bird eyes and malnourished baby cheeks.
"What are you?!" Screams Jack as he tries to break free from his chains.
"We are aliens from another planet, responsible for creating the universe. We brought you here to help us."
"Help you do what?"
"Finish the sky."
One by one the LOSTies are stuffed in the cannon and shot into the sky. Sun and Jin request that they are shot into the sky together. Charles Widmore, and his labrador retriever nose, oblidges.
After all the LOSTies are gone, Charles Widmore, Frank Lupidus and Christian Shepard stand around and furiously shake each other's hands. "Congratulations comrades. We've finished Earth and boy, does it look beautiful." The three of them look up into the sky to see a new constellation beaming in the night sky. The stars spell out
LOST
The Happy Ending
The Smoke Monster turns into thousands of Medusa Spiders and starts killing everyone on the island. The first to go is Jack, then Kate, then Sawyer. Ghost Jacob, Ghost Michael, Ghost Charlie, Ghost Shannon, Ghost Libby, Ghost Ana Lucia, Ghost Eko, Ghost Locke, Ghost Tom, and Ghost Alex are powerless and can do nothing to stop this massacre.
In another part of the Jungle, Sayid is having a one on one fight with Ben.
Sayid says "You made me what I am, you made me this monster!"
Ben says "How ironic!"
And they keep fighting. The volcano has errupted. Bloodshed. Hurley jumps from the lighthouse tower, as Medusa spiders crawl up the shaft just so he does not have to die in such a painful way.
Sitting alone in a prison on Hyrdra Island, Desmond is crying in his cell.
Well this is it he says as he opens up a bottle of MacCutcheon whiskey. He grabs "Our Mutual Friend" and begins to read it; looking at the photograph of he and Penny.
Except it's not Penny. It is a photo of Daniel Farraday. From the future.
It's not just a photo; it's a hologram.
"Desmond" Farraday says.
"Aye, brotha."
"Only now do you realize you're importance. Do you remember when I said the rules don't apply to you? When I said you were special"
"Aye Brotha."
"Well I think it's time to break the rules now. You are the fail safe. You are the island."
The hologram burns up and disappears. A look of profound understanding appears on Desmond's face.
He stands up.
"I love you PENNAY!" he says.
He closes his eyes, and time moves backwards behind him. Desmond moves to the beginning of time, where he meets The Smoke Monster as a child.
Desmond says "Why are you doing this brotha."
The Smoke Monster says "Because I have to... It's all part of the game."
Desmond stares at him.
"Life is not a game brother. Until you realize that you'll always be Lost."
The Smoke Monster opens his mouth, and all of this smoke just starts pouring out of his mouth. In the smoke appear the faces of all the men and women he'll kill. Vincent runs up and The Smoke Monster pets him.
Desmond says "Hey that's vincent, what is he doing here?"
The Smoke Monster says "That's not vincent; it is my Dog, Jacob. Thank you my friend. Thank you for finding me."
Desmond says "If you stay true to your heart, you'll never get Lost."
Desmond closes his eyes and returns to the present.
No one is dead. Instead A dharma plane flies overhead and drops a large shipment of food off.
Hurley says "Dude. Let's party!"
Everyone on the island gets ready for the party. Jack intensely cooks up some burgers. Kate comes up to him and kisses him, and their son David smiles at how cool his parents are. Dogen gets to have another catch with his son. Lennon and Hurley's dad are smoking pot with Rose and Bernard.
Ben and Rousseau have a picnic, and Alex talks to them about her sex life with Karl. Ben doesn't want to hear any of it.
Aaron is returned to Claire, by Charlie and they kiss. Charlie gets down on one knee and says "Claire will you marry me?"
He puts the drive shaft ring on her finger.
Illana and Frank Lapedus seem to be hitting it off.
Hurley and Libby are making out on the beach. Dave comes up to bother them, and Hurley's like "Dude a little privacy!" Libby looks scarred. "What is it" Hurley asks. "That's my husband" she says. "But he was a jerk anyway." Dave disappears.
Michael and Walt play a game of backgammon. Ana Lucia walks over, and gives Michael a hug.
Eko is reunited with his brother.
Boone and Shannon are arguing about something, but then they realized that they still will always love each other. The island folk seem okay with it.
And Sayid ends up with Naomi.
Charlotte and Farraday have a moment.
Miles reunites with Pierre Chang.
Phil and Radsinski reveal that they're gay.
Mikhail comes and brings a little eye patch that he puts over Aaron's eye. He and Claire and Charlie all laugh about it.
Desmond and Penny are alright too, and they seem to be quite content.
Sawyer though stands alone on the island, looking at all the joy people are having; still cold and still better.
"So this is it? Go figure..."
"At least I still got your back"
Sawyer turns around; it is Juliet, more beautiful than ever.
They kiss and it's all perfect.
There is a final shot of everyone partying, and in the sky are three ghosts. One is Jacob. The Second is The Smoke Monster. And in between the two is John Locke who smiles with an orange peel in his mouth.
LOST.
In another part of the Jungle, Sayid is having a one on one fight with Ben.
Sayid says "You made me what I am, you made me this monster!"
Ben says "How ironic!"
And they keep fighting. The volcano has errupted. Bloodshed. Hurley jumps from the lighthouse tower, as Medusa spiders crawl up the shaft just so he does not have to die in such a painful way.
Sitting alone in a prison on Hyrdra Island, Desmond is crying in his cell.
Well this is it he says as he opens up a bottle of MacCutcheon whiskey. He grabs "Our Mutual Friend" and begins to read it; looking at the photograph of he and Penny.
Except it's not Penny. It is a photo of Daniel Farraday. From the future.
It's not just a photo; it's a hologram.
"Desmond" Farraday says.
"Aye, brotha."
"Only now do you realize you're importance. Do you remember when I said the rules don't apply to you? When I said you were special"
"Aye Brotha."
"Well I think it's time to break the rules now. You are the fail safe. You are the island."
The hologram burns up and disappears. A look of profound understanding appears on Desmond's face.
He stands up.
"I love you PENNAY!" he says.
He closes his eyes, and time moves backwards behind him. Desmond moves to the beginning of time, where he meets The Smoke Monster as a child.
Desmond says "Why are you doing this brotha."
The Smoke Monster says "Because I have to... It's all part of the game."
Desmond stares at him.
"Life is not a game brother. Until you realize that you'll always be Lost."
The Smoke Monster opens his mouth, and all of this smoke just starts pouring out of his mouth. In the smoke appear the faces of all the men and women he'll kill. Vincent runs up and The Smoke Monster pets him.
Desmond says "Hey that's vincent, what is he doing here?"
The Smoke Monster says "That's not vincent; it is my Dog, Jacob. Thank you my friend. Thank you for finding me."
Desmond says "If you stay true to your heart, you'll never get Lost."
Desmond closes his eyes and returns to the present.
No one is dead. Instead A dharma plane flies overhead and drops a large shipment of food off.
Hurley says "Dude. Let's party!"
Everyone on the island gets ready for the party. Jack intensely cooks up some burgers. Kate comes up to him and kisses him, and their son David smiles at how cool his parents are. Dogen gets to have another catch with his son. Lennon and Hurley's dad are smoking pot with Rose and Bernard.
Ben and Rousseau have a picnic, and Alex talks to them about her sex life with Karl. Ben doesn't want to hear any of it.
Aaron is returned to Claire, by Charlie and they kiss. Charlie gets down on one knee and says "Claire will you marry me?"
He puts the drive shaft ring on her finger.
Illana and Frank Lapedus seem to be hitting it off.
Hurley and Libby are making out on the beach. Dave comes up to bother them, and Hurley's like "Dude a little privacy!" Libby looks scarred. "What is it" Hurley asks. "That's my husband" she says. "But he was a jerk anyway." Dave disappears.
Michael and Walt play a game of backgammon. Ana Lucia walks over, and gives Michael a hug.
Eko is reunited with his brother.
Boone and Shannon are arguing about something, but then they realized that they still will always love each other. The island folk seem okay with it.
And Sayid ends up with Naomi.
Charlotte and Farraday have a moment.
Miles reunites with Pierre Chang.
Phil and Radsinski reveal that they're gay.
Mikhail comes and brings a little eye patch that he puts over Aaron's eye. He and Claire and Charlie all laugh about it.
Desmond and Penny are alright too, and they seem to be quite content.
Sawyer though stands alone on the island, looking at all the joy people are having; still cold and still better.
"So this is it? Go figure..."
"At least I still got your back"
Sawyer turns around; it is Juliet, more beautiful than ever.
They kiss and it's all perfect.
There is a final shot of everyone partying, and in the sky are three ghosts. One is Jacob. The Second is The Smoke Monster. And in between the two is John Locke who smiles with an orange peel in his mouth.
LOST.
Circle.
The war for the island is in full swing.
Locke Monster (to Claire): Do it Claire!
Claire nods, and looks at Charlie's Drive Shaft ring. She kisses it and then inserts it into a Charlie's-Drive-Shaft-ring shaped hole, and turns it. The ground starts to rumble.
Locke Monster (to all): It's happening!
Sawyer: What's happening?
Locke Monster: This island is a volcano, James. And it's going to erupt.
Hurley: Aw crap, dude!
Sawyer: Volcano?!?
Locke Monster: Yes, James. I'm afraid this was my plan the whole time. To detonate this volcano and kill every man, woman, child, and polar bear on this island.
Sawyer: You son of a bitch!
Lapidus (to Vincent): Come with me.
Vincent: Ok, Frank.
Frank Lapidus rides Vincent to the Black Rock, where they gather up all the remaining dynamite. They quickly plant the sticks in a line from the base of the volcano to the ocean. Hiding behind a bush, Lapidus turns to Vincent.
Lapidus: You might want to clear out. Those ain't your granddaddy's firecrackers we just planted.
Close-up on Vincent's face as his paws cover his eyes.
Lapidus: Suit yourself. Here goes nothin'.
Lapidus detonates the dynamite, and the resulting explosions create a canal-like channel cut into the earth
Back at the fight, everybody watches as lava explodes out of the volcano top. Theres a 180-degree shot of Locke Monster as he watches it, smiling.
Sawyer, Jin, Hurley, Bernard, and Jack to Kate, Sun, A Bag of Chips, Rose, and Sarah, respectively: I guess we ain't got much time. I just want to say...
Miles: Wait! Something's happening!
The lava from the volcano enters Lapidus's canal, and it all flows right out into the ocean. Everyone is happy, except for Locke Monster. As ash from the volcano rains down on everyone, their faces all turn grey.
Aaron (to Shannon): Look at their faces - they're all the same!
Shannon looks around and realizes that he's right. Good, bad, black, white - everyone's face is the same grey ash color now. They're really not so different after all. Suddenly a fog horn blasts from offshore.
Jack: A boat! Let's get rescued!
Ben: No, wait!
All: Here we go again!
Suddenly Charlie appears next to Hurley.
Charlie: It's ok, mate. That IS Penny's boat.
Suddenly a hot air balloon descends onto the beach carrying Desmond, Penny, and Walt.
Desmond: Come on, brothers!
Locke Monster is stuck on the island because Iliana makes a trap by lining the entire shore of the island with the volcano's ash, so he turns into smoke and flies away.
Hurley's Dad (to camera): And I thought I smoked a lot!
Ben: Wait! There's one thing we have to do first!
They all go to the graveyard and dig up Nikki and Paulo. Dragging their rotting corpses to the caves, they lay them down next to one another. They all board the hot air balloon and are finally rescued. While ascending, Desmond says that there's too much weight; one of the 20 or so people will have to get out. Jack tells Sarah that he's sorry and jumps out and lands in the jungle, blacking out. When he wakes, he looks up to see trees and is confused. Vincent enters from the jungle and runs by him. Confused, Jack walks out onto the beach.... WHERE THE WRECKAGE OF OCEANIC FLIGHT 815 AND ITS SURVIVORS ARE, WAITING FOR HIM TO SAVE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOST!!!!!
Locke Monster (to Claire): Do it Claire!
Claire nods, and looks at Charlie's Drive Shaft ring. She kisses it and then inserts it into a Charlie's-Drive-Shaft-ring shaped hole, and turns it. The ground starts to rumble.
Locke Monster (to all): It's happening!
Sawyer: What's happening?
Locke Monster: This island is a volcano, James. And it's going to erupt.
Hurley: Aw crap, dude!
Sawyer: Volcano?!?
Locke Monster: Yes, James. I'm afraid this was my plan the whole time. To detonate this volcano and kill every man, woman, child, and polar bear on this island.
Sawyer: You son of a bitch!
Lapidus (to Vincent): Come with me.
Vincent: Ok, Frank.
Frank Lapidus rides Vincent to the Black Rock, where they gather up all the remaining dynamite. They quickly plant the sticks in a line from the base of the volcano to the ocean. Hiding behind a bush, Lapidus turns to Vincent.
Lapidus: You might want to clear out. Those ain't your granddaddy's firecrackers we just planted.
Close-up on Vincent's face as his paws cover his eyes.
Lapidus: Suit yourself. Here goes nothin'.
Lapidus detonates the dynamite, and the resulting explosions create a canal-like channel cut into the earth
Back at the fight, everybody watches as lava explodes out of the volcano top. Theres a 180-degree shot of Locke Monster as he watches it, smiling.
Sawyer, Jin, Hurley, Bernard, and Jack to Kate, Sun, A Bag of Chips, Rose, and Sarah, respectively: I guess we ain't got much time. I just want to say...
Miles: Wait! Something's happening!
The lava from the volcano enters Lapidus's canal, and it all flows right out into the ocean. Everyone is happy, except for Locke Monster. As ash from the volcano rains down on everyone, their faces all turn grey.
Aaron (to Shannon): Look at their faces - they're all the same!
Shannon looks around and realizes that he's right. Good, bad, black, white - everyone's face is the same grey ash color now. They're really not so different after all. Suddenly a fog horn blasts from offshore.
Jack: A boat! Let's get rescued!
Ben: No, wait!
All: Here we go again!
Suddenly Charlie appears next to Hurley.
Charlie: It's ok, mate. That IS Penny's boat.
Suddenly a hot air balloon descends onto the beach carrying Desmond, Penny, and Walt.
Desmond: Come on, brothers!
Locke Monster is stuck on the island because Iliana makes a trap by lining the entire shore of the island with the volcano's ash, so he turns into smoke and flies away.
Hurley's Dad (to camera): And I thought I smoked a lot!
Ben: Wait! There's one thing we have to do first!
They all go to the graveyard and dig up Nikki and Paulo. Dragging their rotting corpses to the caves, they lay them down next to one another. They all board the hot air balloon and are finally rescued. While ascending, Desmond says that there's too much weight; one of the 20 or so people will have to get out. Jack tells Sarah that he's sorry and jumps out and lands in the jungle, blacking out. When he wakes, he looks up to see trees and is confused. Vincent enters from the jungle and runs by him. Confused, Jack walks out onto the beach.... WHERE THE WRECKAGE OF OCEANIC FLIGHT 815 AND ITS SURVIVORS ARE, WAITING FOR HIM TO SAVE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOST!!!!!
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
FINAL TWO HOURS OF LOST REVEALED!
The whole show is about Sawyer. The Series Finale will be called "DISPATCH" and will be about Sawyer trying to find the last DHARMA station. SPOILER ALERT: he finds it. The first hour will end with him opening the door and saying "You!" The following video reveals who is inside this last hatch, and includes some clips of the final hour of LOST. ONLY WATCH THIS VIDEO IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IN THE FINAL HOUR OF LOST!!!
YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!!!!!!111
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1pf9q6Zoi0
PS - Also revealed on this episode: Sawyer was in the Navy.
LOST.
YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!!!!!!111
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1pf9q6Zoi0
PS - Also revealed on this episode: Sawyer was in the Navy.
LOST.
Episode #:END
Jack, Sawyer, Kate and Hurley sit on the beach in front of a burning island- a temple smoldering behind them. There is a buzzing growing louder and louder. They all look to eachother in confusion and fear
"Whaaddya think that is?" Hurley says scared.
"What am I Professor Plum, cause I ain't got no clue." Sawyer says.
"I don't know, Hurley, whatever it is, it's headed this way." Jack looks around for answers.
Their heads turn to the source over the starry endless bounds of the South Pacific. A small seaplane appears, blinking lights on both wing tips, it's coming down for a landing.
"Oh my God! Finally!" Kate says, pulling both Sawyer and Jack up to a standing position. They all wave frantically, a light shines on them. Hurley jumps up for joy and bear hugs the lot of them.
The plane lands skimming the water just off shore. The gang jumps into to water meeting it. Not caring, Not worrying because really, what else could happen to them. The Door opens. Frank Lapidus is behind it smiling back, knowing, looking off into the distance maybe with an inquisitive sexy look like he just handed destiny an orgasm. He lifts Jack, Kate and Sawyer into the plane. Then with one hand and not even a slight bend of knees, he lifts Hurley clean out of the water.
"Goddamnit, you guys, I got some explaining to do to some TWINS but I figured I had to save a few friends' butts though."
"Dude we thought you died!" Hurley says.
"What are you? On high drugs? I'm the goddamn legend your parents told you to be warned about." He smiles again, "And I'll buy those drugs if you have them."
Lapidus gets behind the control deck and they take off smooth
"Shouldn't you worry about following Faraday's coordinates out? You know, so we don't get nosebleeds and die?" Jack asks.
"Did we leave the beach?" Lapidus asks him back.
"I'm Sorry?" Jack is Confused.
"Did we leave the beach?" He repeats.
"Uh Yeah."
"Then get the fucking sand out."
The flight goes great. Hurley is complaining about water in his ears, and Lapidus flys the plane while talking to Kate about surviving the largest recorded orgy. And maybe at one time calls Jack a pansy ass. Unfortunately, Hurley decides hopping up and down is the best way to get water out of his ears. This causes the plane to go out of control and nearly killing the four friends in ANOTHR crash.
Upon what looks to be their final moments of life, Jack reveals he cheated in that "Contest" with Sawyer, and Kate tells Jack "I've always...", but Lapidus manages to steady the plane before she finishes. They make an emergency landing in the small town of Latham, Massachusetts.
While killing time in Latham, waiting for the plane to be repaired, they witness an overweight man getting carjacked at gunpoint. Instead of helping him, Sawyer cracks jokes about his size while Hurley films it all on his camcorder, then they proceed to walk away. The victim notices this and tells the reporting officer, Ana Lucia's Sister, Hanna Lupita. The four main characters are then taken into custody for violating a duty to rescue that requires bystanders to help out in such a situation. Because this is the first case implementing this law, the prosecutor wants to find out everything he can on Jack, Sawyer, Kate and Hurley in order to win.
A lengthy trial ensues, bringing back many characters from past episodes as character witnesses testifying against the group for their "selfish" acts from throughout the series who many thought were dead. Carl, Walt, Artz, Mrs. Faraday, Clementine and a Nigerian Drug Lord. The overweight man who was carjacked, and several others are called to the witness stand, among many more enemies and acquaintances.
Their attorney mounts the defense that the witnesses are only exaggerating to settle scores with the four and that the four did not want to get shot by the criminal; even Hurley's mother tries to get them released by offering to have sex with the judge. The four are found guilty, and sentenced to one year by Judge Charles Widmore.
In the final scene before the credits, the four main characters sit in a jail cell - strangely unfazed by what has just happened to them, still concerned mostly with the fate that has always preoccupied them. Jack begins a conversation about Kate's shirt buttons, using lines from the first episode ("Well, fear's sort of an odd thing."). Kate then wonders if they have had that conversation before.
Phenom
Everyone is dead.
Everyone except Jack and Locke.
"Are you ready to believe yet, Jack?"
"Believe what, John? You just murdered everyone on this island."
"Did I, Jack?"
Jack charges toward Locke with the most rage ever when suddenly everything is pitch black.
Gong.
"What are you doing, Locke?! What is this?!"
"This is not my doing, Jack. I'm just as scared as you are."
Gong.
The island lights back up and WWE Superstar The Undertaker is standing between Jack and Locke.
"For too long I have watched you two battle for the souls of the innocent. Now it is time for you both to rest. in. peace."
LOST
Everyone except Jack and Locke.
"Are you ready to believe yet, Jack?"
"Believe what, John? You just murdered everyone on this island."
"Did I, Jack?"
Jack charges toward Locke with the most rage ever when suddenly everything is pitch black.
Gong.
"What are you doing, Locke?! What is this?!"
"This is not my doing, Jack. I'm just as scared as you are."
Gong.
The island lights back up and WWE Superstar The Undertaker is standing between Jack and Locke.
"For too long I have watched you two battle for the souls of the innocent. Now it is time for you both to rest. in. peace."
LOST
"Hello yourself, bossman."
The mystical bird from Season 2's finale comes out and craps gold all over everyone, preserving them all forever on the island.
Then Jack looks into the camera and says "I'm intense."
Then Jack looks into the camera and says "I'm intense."
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
The Dharma Initiative
There is a wormhole on the island. The wormhole was created by Vincent ingesting the Smoke Monster, and Jacob ingesting Vincent. The wormhole is sucking everything and everyone on the island through it, and Locke beleives that if they travel through the wormhole, they will finally understand what the island is.
On the other hand Jack thinks that flying through the wormhole will do something catostrophic.
Locke says to Jack, "Sometimes you just have to be a man of faith"
Jack says "John"
Locke says "Yeah Jack"
Jack says "I'm a beleiver"
Locke says "I knew you had what it takes"
Jack is getting intense now. With Locke they lead the whole camp to get on Ajira 316, which Lapidus has safely rebuilt.
One by one everyone starts to get on the plane. As the wormhole begins to close, Frank gets Ajira 316 (now a plane helicopter hybrid) in the air.
Later, Frank Lapidus is circling around the island in Ajira 316. A rope ladder hangs down from the chopper and one by one Desmond, Hurley, Aaron, Richard, Miles, and Arzt are trying to climb the ladder. They are the last people to get on the ladder. Right as Desmond reaches the top of the ladder, the wormhole closes, leaving these 6 characters on the island, at the very beginning of time.
Jacob comes out and says "You should have taken more initiative."
A light bulb collectively goes off in all their heads, and they form the Dharma Initiative.
Through the wormhole, the plane copter is traveling through the space time continuum. They come out the other side, and a look of awe spreads on the faces of all those in the cockpit.
"What the hell is this" Lapidus says.
"I think we took a wrong turn" Kate says.
Ben walks into the cockpit.
He says "Guys I think we're
LOST
On the other hand Jack thinks that flying through the wormhole will do something catostrophic.
Locke says to Jack, "Sometimes you just have to be a man of faith"
Jack says "John"
Locke says "Yeah Jack"
Jack says "I'm a beleiver"
Locke says "I knew you had what it takes"
Jack is getting intense now. With Locke they lead the whole camp to get on Ajira 316, which Lapidus has safely rebuilt.
One by one everyone starts to get on the plane. As the wormhole begins to close, Frank gets Ajira 316 (now a plane helicopter hybrid) in the air.
Later, Frank Lapidus is circling around the island in Ajira 316. A rope ladder hangs down from the chopper and one by one Desmond, Hurley, Aaron, Richard, Miles, and Arzt are trying to climb the ladder. They are the last people to get on the ladder. Right as Desmond reaches the top of the ladder, the wormhole closes, leaving these 6 characters on the island, at the very beginning of time.
Jacob comes out and says "You should have taken more initiative."
A light bulb collectively goes off in all their heads, and they form the Dharma Initiative.
Through the wormhole, the plane copter is traveling through the space time continuum. They come out the other side, and a look of awe spreads on the faces of all those in the cockpit.
"What the hell is this" Lapidus says.
"I think we took a wrong turn" Kate says.
Ben walks into the cockpit.
He says "Guys I think we're
LOST
1 Wedding and a Tornado
In the alternate timeline, Jack and Kate are getting married. Mr. Eko, who is officiating the marriage asks if anyone objects to the union. The door of the church swings open. "I do!" A thunderous gasp comes over the wedding party as they turn to see another Jack.
"Who let this sodding lunatic in here?" Charlie asks as he gets up from the organ. Just then the roof tears open. It is a giant John Locke. "I did!" yells Locke as smoke pours out of his mouth. The smoke engulfs the entire church, sweeping the entire wedding into a tornado of memories.
The tornado tears through the entire country. Stopping finally on the beach in LA. "Why did it stop?" Kate asks. "It must see something." Says Jack (the REAL Jack).
"Yeah, me!" it is Sawyer on the beach with a shotgun. "And I ain't alone either!" A helicopter flown by Frank Lapidus then lands on the beach. Sayid, Desmond, and Daniel Faraday leap out with flamethrowers. They subdue the smoke monster and it reverts to it's true form: Walt.
Walt gets up and addresses our heroes. "Thank you all. For trapped within that beast, I was forever
LOST."
"Who let this sodding lunatic in here?" Charlie asks as he gets up from the organ. Just then the roof tears open. It is a giant John Locke. "I did!" yells Locke as smoke pours out of his mouth. The smoke engulfs the entire church, sweeping the entire wedding into a tornado of memories.
The tornado tears through the entire country. Stopping finally on the beach in LA. "Why did it stop?" Kate asks. "It must see something." Says Jack (the REAL Jack).
"Yeah, me!" it is Sawyer on the beach with a shotgun. "And I ain't alone either!" A helicopter flown by Frank Lapidus then lands on the beach. Sayid, Desmond, and Daniel Faraday leap out with flamethrowers. They subdue the smoke monster and it reverts to it's true form: Walt.
Walt gets up and addresses our heroes. "Thank you all. For trapped within that beast, I was forever
LOST."
The Series
Close Up: Jack's eye. It opens.
As the camera pulls back we see he is confused, lying in a field of grass. The audio track is muffled but the sound of waves crashing on the beach can just barely be made out.
The camera pulls back further. The sound of waves morphs into the sound of a crowd cheering. Pull back further. Jack is wearing an old fashioned Boston Red Sox uniform. Pull back even further. He is lying in center field in Fenway Park.
Cut to: Extreme Wide Shot. Fenway Park. Game 7 of the 1926 World Series. The Boston Red Sox vs The New York Giants.
As Jack tries to get his bearings the crack of a bat is heard off screen.
"Jack!" Sayid yells from right field.
Jack suddenly realizes where he is. He looks up and sees the ball screeching towards him. He knows what he has to do. He has to act, and act fast. But when Jack turns to run he is frozen in place. He is paralyzed... with fear.
But remembering the advice his father gave him Jack begins to count.
"One."
Jack sees James Ford, the League MVP and the man who has just knocked the stitching off of the ball, rounding first.
"It's a long fly ball deep to center field." It's Jacob in the announcer's booth, calling the game with the MIB.
"Two."
Jack sees the scoreboard. Ninth inning. One out. Red Sox:1 Giants: 0.
"It looks like the other shoe is about to drop in the form of a home run from Ford." The MIB calls it like he sees it.
"Three."
Jack sees Bernard, the manager of the Red Sox watching with bated breath as the drama unfolds.
"Come on, Jack. I know you can do this." Daniel Faraday, beat writer for the Boston Globe, watching from the stands whispers to himself.
"Four"
Jack sees John Locke, manager of the Giants, and Ben Linus, the third base coach, waving Ford towards home.
"Dude..." In the owners box, Hurley, owner of the Boston Red Sox and Spike's Junkyard Dogs, looks on worriedly.
But before he can count Five Jack freezes again. Does he have what it takes? He looks out in the stands and sees Kate Austen, his wife.
"Run, Jack! Run!"
Jack snaps out of it, a grin forming on his face.
"Five." he says and takes off.
With the quickness of a gazelle, Jack sprints toward the warning track and leaps. Reaching out his glove at just the right moment and to just the right place, Jack feels the ball smack into the webbing of his glove. There will be no homerun this inning for the New York Giants.
Needless to say, the crowd goes wild.
As the rest of the Red Sox rush towards Jack in the outfield he looks out to the bleachers towards his wife.
From the stands Kate says. "I love you Jack Shephard."
"I love you too Kate. I love you because we're married."
But the happy couple are interrupted as Jack is overtaken by his teammates.
The celebration that ensues is complete with champagne, confetti, and the crowd rushing the field. But before Jack can join the party he feels a hand on his shoulder.
"Way to go tonight, champ."
Jack turns around and sees his father, Christian Shephard.
The following conversation will play over the final montage...
The Red Sox at a train platform boarding a steam engine train.
"Son. I have always been proud of you. All those times that I pushed you to practice. I did that because I knew you had what it takes."
Jack staring wistfully out of his window watching the landscape pass.
"There was never any doubt in my mind. I knew that if you just had someone to keep you on the right track you could achieve anything."
The Red Sox arriving at the white House for the traditional meeting with the President of the United States. It's Walt. The First Black President.
"But I didn't want you to start playing at first. I knew an old ball-player like myself wouldn't be able to handle his son putting on his dad's old mit. But when I looked into your eyes the day you told me you wanted to play, I knew. I knew that you could be the best in the world."
Cut back to Jack and Christian at Fenway.
"I love you, Jack. I love you so much."
"I love you too Dad. I always will."
The two men embrace.
Cut to: street corner as bundle of newspapers is thrown into frame. Gradual Zoom In.
"But we really did it, didn't we?" Jack says.
Zoom In further to see headline "Red Sox Win World Series" w/ team photo underneath.
"All those years of hard work and we finally did it."
Zoom In further to team photo showing Jack with his arm around Babe Ruth, both wearing Red Sox uniforms.
"After all these years we finally..."
Smash Cut to final title card: "WON"
As the camera pulls back we see he is confused, lying in a field of grass. The audio track is muffled but the sound of waves crashing on the beach can just barely be made out.
The camera pulls back further. The sound of waves morphs into the sound of a crowd cheering. Pull back further. Jack is wearing an old fashioned Boston Red Sox uniform. Pull back even further. He is lying in center field in Fenway Park.
Cut to: Extreme Wide Shot. Fenway Park. Game 7 of the 1926 World Series. The Boston Red Sox vs The New York Giants.
As Jack tries to get his bearings the crack of a bat is heard off screen.
"Jack!" Sayid yells from right field.
Jack suddenly realizes where he is. He looks up and sees the ball screeching towards him. He knows what he has to do. He has to act, and act fast. But when Jack turns to run he is frozen in place. He is paralyzed... with fear.
But remembering the advice his father gave him Jack begins to count.
"One."
Jack sees James Ford, the League MVP and the man who has just knocked the stitching off of the ball, rounding first.
"It's a long fly ball deep to center field." It's Jacob in the announcer's booth, calling the game with the MIB.
"Two."
Jack sees the scoreboard. Ninth inning. One out. Red Sox:1 Giants: 0.
"It looks like the other shoe is about to drop in the form of a home run from Ford." The MIB calls it like he sees it.
"Three."
Jack sees Bernard, the manager of the Red Sox watching with bated breath as the drama unfolds.
"Come on, Jack. I know you can do this." Daniel Faraday, beat writer for the Boston Globe, watching from the stands whispers to himself.
"Four"
Jack sees John Locke, manager of the Giants, and Ben Linus, the third base coach, waving Ford towards home.
"Dude..." In the owners box, Hurley, owner of the Boston Red Sox and Spike's Junkyard Dogs, looks on worriedly.
But before he can count Five Jack freezes again. Does he have what it takes? He looks out in the stands and sees Kate Austen, his wife.
"Run, Jack! Run!"
Jack snaps out of it, a grin forming on his face.
"Five." he says and takes off.
With the quickness of a gazelle, Jack sprints toward the warning track and leaps. Reaching out his glove at just the right moment and to just the right place, Jack feels the ball smack into the webbing of his glove. There will be no homerun this inning for the New York Giants.
Needless to say, the crowd goes wild.
As the rest of the Red Sox rush towards Jack in the outfield he looks out to the bleachers towards his wife.
From the stands Kate says. "I love you Jack Shephard."
"I love you too Kate. I love you because we're married."
But the happy couple are interrupted as Jack is overtaken by his teammates.
The celebration that ensues is complete with champagne, confetti, and the crowd rushing the field. But before Jack can join the party he feels a hand on his shoulder.
"Way to go tonight, champ."
Jack turns around and sees his father, Christian Shephard.
The following conversation will play over the final montage...
The Red Sox at a train platform boarding a steam engine train.
"Son. I have always been proud of you. All those times that I pushed you to practice. I did that because I knew you had what it takes."
Jack staring wistfully out of his window watching the landscape pass.
"There was never any doubt in my mind. I knew that if you just had someone to keep you on the right track you could achieve anything."
The Red Sox arriving at the white House for the traditional meeting with the President of the United States. It's Walt. The First Black President.
"But I didn't want you to start playing at first. I knew an old ball-player like myself wouldn't be able to handle his son putting on his dad's old mit. But when I looked into your eyes the day you told me you wanted to play, I knew. I knew that you could be the best in the world."
Cut back to Jack and Christian at Fenway.
"I love you, Jack. I love you so much."
"I love you too Dad. I always will."
The two men embrace.
Cut to: street corner as bundle of newspapers is thrown into frame. Gradual Zoom In.
"But we really did it, didn't we?" Jack says.
Zoom In further to see headline "Red Sox Win World Series" w/ team photo underneath.
"All those years of hard work and we finally did it."
Zoom In further to team photo showing Jack with his arm around Babe Ruth, both wearing Red Sox uniforms.
"After all these years we finally..."
Smash Cut to final title card: "WON"
Animality
Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Hurley, Sun, Jin, Desmond, Charlie, Boone, Shannon, Michael, Walt, Ana Lucia, Locke, Ben, Tom, Juliet, Rose, Bernard, Pierre Chang, Miles, Farraday, and Penny stand before Jacob. Jacob asks if these people are really ready to know why they were brought to the island.
Sawyer says "Well hell, Jake, I was born ready"
Jacob explains that each person brought to the island has the spirit of an animal within. Jack is the lion, Kate the horse, Sawyer the Wild Boar, and so on and so forth...
Jacob reveals that he is the dog and morphs into Vincent. Jacob teaches these characters how to harness their animal powers, before the Smoke Monster eats the entire island (causing time to unravel).
In the final moments, all the animals use their powers to turn into a combination of all the animals. This mythic creature is swiftly defeated by the Smoke Monster.
Commercial Break...
Back from Commercial all of the animals lay dead on the island, and Jacob cries over their bodies. His tears bring the animals back to life, and as he pets Kate, the Smoke Monster shows up as Mr. Eko.
Mr. Eko says "It looks like my loophole didn't work."
Jacob stabs out his own eyes and says "Justice is blind."
Mr. Eko says nothing, he just starts to cry.
Jacob says "This was all a game, and it looks like you've...
LOST.
Sawyer says "Well hell, Jake, I was born ready"
Jacob explains that each person brought to the island has the spirit of an animal within. Jack is the lion, Kate the horse, Sawyer the Wild Boar, and so on and so forth...
Jacob reveals that he is the dog and morphs into Vincent. Jacob teaches these characters how to harness their animal powers, before the Smoke Monster eats the entire island (causing time to unravel).
In the final moments, all the animals use their powers to turn into a combination of all the animals. This mythic creature is swiftly defeated by the Smoke Monster.
Commercial Break...
Back from Commercial all of the animals lay dead on the island, and Jacob cries over their bodies. His tears bring the animals back to life, and as he pets Kate, the Smoke Monster shows up as Mr. Eko.
Mr. Eko says "It looks like my loophole didn't work."
Jacob stabs out his own eyes and says "Justice is blind."
Mr. Eko says nothing, he just starts to cry.
Jacob says "This was all a game, and it looks like you've...
LOST.
Monday, March 1, 2010
old iron knees
i had written out a long winded idea of how i thought it ended but didnt save and i erased it all by mistake when try to copy and paste it here. my post sadly has been LOST.
Voltron
Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Hurley, Sun, and Sayid finally have a meeting with Jacob. He tells them he did in fact bring them to the island for a reason. "Have you ever wondered why there is only a foot to this statue?", he asks.
"I have hidden the other pieces to the statue at different spots on the island. I need you to split up and each find your piece of the statue. These pieces will then activate their location beacons and the cockpits should open up. Pilot these parts together to form Tawaret."
"And how are we supposed to know how to pilot these crafts?" questioned Sayid. "Don't worry, you'll remember. Once Tawaret is formed you will fight and surely defeat what you have come to call the Smoke Monster. Leave quickly. The volcano is about to erupt."
Tawaret and the Smoke Monster fight over the mouth of the erupting volcano. After an awesome fight, Tawaret wins.
LOST.
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