Oh man, you guys are not going to BELIEVE the way this show ends. I never saw it coming. Okay. Okay.
So.

It is the jungle. So many guns. One of them goes off, totally on it's own, and hits Juliet in the forehead - but she doesn't die. Is Juliet immortal?

Suddenly, we are in the past - or are we? In any case, Desmond, Ben and Jin are playing miniature golf in Florida right outside University of Tampa campus. Neither Ben nor Desmond know it, but Jin is cheating. Ben and Desmond cannot believe she is so good at mini golf, and they both say "I thought WE were the ones who where supposed to be good at putting stuff in holes, right!?!?" Then they kiss.

Flash forward (or back) to Juliet. Her head is bleeding a lot, but she doesn't seem to mind. In fact, she cuts it off and puts on one of the heads she has hanging from her belt loop - Jin's head, in fact. It is a perfect fit. Juliet sees a figure in the distance - Richard Albert? yup. He and Frank Lapidus are walking toward her carrying a LOT of lion meat - what are they doing so far from the laboratory? Who knows, but thank god they are here, she is very hungry. Little does she know, they are, too. Juliet eats a lot of the lion meat without saying thank you, then Frank cuts off her hands and feeds them to Richard. Juliet says "why!?" through Jin's mouth, and dies this time. Richard says "it was your fate."

All of a sudden, it is the past for sure now. Sayid and Jack are cutting gym class so they can play gin rumy and take shots under the bleachers of the football field. They are children. Sayid says "I am moving away", and Jack says "Fuck you, you are my best friend." They don't kiss, but they want to, but not in a gay way. Sayid says "Forgive me". Then he punches Jack in the face and tries to run away, but he runs right into Rose, who followed them out there to see if she could nab some of that tasty drink. She saw what happened and is going to tell on Sayid. He promises never to punch Jack in the face again. Jack, meanwhile, stuffed a lot of thistles down Sayid's pants, so when he sits down, ouch! Jack runs away and finds Ana Lucia so they can make out at the lockers.

Flash forward to Ana Lucia making out with Walt. So many guns. One goes off and hits a tree next to Walt, he pretends to be wounded, Ana Lucia starts to cry and panic and while she is flustered, Walt takes a hunting knife and rips out her internal organs. She dies in his arms, and he is crying so much. Jacob walks out from behind a tree and says "Well done." What the fuck, Jacob!?!

Jacob and Walt walk over to the beach and sit down to take in the view post kill. They talk about what kind of men they are. They don't know that Claire and Keamy are behind them. Claire comes over to Jacob and asks him for a cigarette. He laughs and says, are you kidding me? Claire is like, no I am NOT kidding, and lights his hair on fire because she now has magic hands. Keamy just watches and laughs and occasionally kicks some sand in Walt's eyes. Walt is too scared to do anything. Finally, Jacob burns to death, and Walt is forced by Claire to take his body to The Smoke Monster. The Smoke Monster eats Jacob's toasted body, then eats Walt, then eats Keamy, then tries to eat Claire, but she has magic hands until sun down, so she is safe until then.

Whoa, where did Sun come from!? I dunno, but he brought Charlie! They and Claire go banana picking, then they want to find out where they can get some lion meat. Whoa, oh my god, they stumble upon the lion meat and Juliet/Jin. How did this happen? Regardless, they eat the lion meat and try and salvage some of Juliet's clothes s they can make ruck sacks with them. While they are stitching their sacks, Eko and Hurly waltz up and scare them. Those goofballs! What have they been doing all day? Eating fish, of course. But they always have room for some lion meat. Out of nowhere, guns are heard. A bullet goes through Charlie's tummy.

The PAST! Michael and Hurly and Sawyer just finished the LSATs. They hop in the car, give Vincent a pat, and off they go to the gentlemen's club to celebrate! On the way, Michael tells the guys he is getting married. They saw it coming! Shannon is going to be one lucky lady! Cut to, Shannon in her wedding gown. It is the day of the ceremony. Hurly and Sawyer are there- but where is Michael? Making out with Kate in the hallway in front of Shannon's mom. Really good timing, asshole. The wedding is OFF!

We are in the car with Kate as she drives past the five and dime and stops finally at a rusty old out house in middle of nowhere. She walks over and gives it three knocks. A voice says, come iiiinnnn! Daniel Faraday! Oh my god!? It was you all this time!?!?! They kiss.

The jungle! Kate and Mikhail are roping wild boars. Kate smells something familiar. Daniel Faraday walks up behind her and picks her up from the crotch - is he going to toss her or something? No, they just always had this joke; whoa, Kate is so light that Daniel can pick her up by the crotch, and Daniel is so strong, whoa, they are a couple - that is from the past, but you can see it in their eyes. They want to kiss, but Mikhail needs help, this one wild boar is really hard to rope. Daniel says he will be back after dusk after he has killed Claire. Kate asks, where is Jack? Daniel says - forget about him, he has beans for brains.

Sawyer and Bernard are being very still. They see what they believe is a horrible supernatural thing happening. Basically, Locke and Boone have met up, eaten sandwiches, played a game of chess, and are now trying to merge their bodies together to create one person. They finally do, and that person is Boone-Locke. Boone-Locke looks up and sees Sawyer and Bernard. Hello, gentlemen, he says. Sawyer is like, WHY did you DO this!?!? Now we will NEVER know what we were supposed to individually do with our lives, because you guys fucking merged yourselves! Boone-Locke says, Exactly - you are not supposed to know.

ALL OF A SUDDEN DANIEL FARADAY IS RIGHT NEXT TO JACK AND HE IS RIPPING OUT JACK'S EYES AND THEN JACK IS RIPPING OFF DANIEL FARADAY'S JAW! THE SMOKE MONSTER MAKES THE SUN GO DOWN EARLY AND RIPS UP CLAIRES BODY, INFECTS IT WITH POISON, AND MAKES EVERY EAT IT. SAWYER, BOONE-LOCKE, KATE AND JAW-LESS DANIEL FARADAY SURVIVE. SAWYER LOOKS AT KATE AND PUNCHES HER TUMMY, SHE DIES OF INTERNAL BLEEDING - HE JUST DID IT BECAUSE HE WAS SO FED UP WITH HER. DANIEL FARADAY GIVES HIS LOWER JAW TO BOONE-LOCKE. SAWYER WALKS INTO THE OCEAN AND NEVER COMES BACK, HE DEFINITELY DROWNS. BOONE-LOCKE LOOK AT THE SMOKE MONSTER AND THE SMOKE MONSTER TELLS BOONE-LOCKE THAT IT IS ACTUALLY EVERYONE'S DEAD CHILDHOOD SOUL COMING BACK TO REPRIMAND THEM FOR FUCKING UP ALL OF THEIR CHILDHOOD DREAMS. it lets boone-locke go, because it doesn't care about merged folk.

Boone-Locke makes a run for it and get in a helicopter he sees. The helicopter crashes on another island. Whaaaat?...

The End.